Page 19 of A Prudent Engagement

She had come to depend on her belief that he thought well of her, even though she did not yet know whether she thought well of him.

When Mrs. Gardiner asked Mr. Darcy about Derbyshire, his features softened into a smile, and they talked for ten minutes about the neighbourhood around where Mrs. Gardiner grew up before the gentlemen took their leave.

Mr. Darcy promised to return early the next day to help convey their party to Meryton.

“That is not necessary,” Mr. Gardiner said. “We can all crowd into my own carriage.”

“I am sure,” Mr. Darcy replied steadily, “that all the ladies will be more comfortable with the use of two carriages. I insist. I told Miss Elizabeth that I would convey her and Mrs. Collins to Longbourn, and I shall do so.”

Mr. Gardiner looked at Elizabeth. “Is this how you would wish for matters to be arranged?”

“Oh, yes,” Elizabeth said without thinking. Then she looked down, her face hot. “That is, I hope Jane will be in the carriage with me.”

“You are most kind,” Mr. Gardiner said to Mr. Darcy.

He echoed what he had said when she thanked him for bringing her to London: “It is what every true gentleman would do.”

Colonel Fitzwilliam gave a small laugh. “My cousin seldom allows anyone that designation. I pity the many men throughout England whom Darcy disvalues, even though they are confident that their estate and birth entitle them to be called ‘true gentlemen’.”

When Mr. Darcy left, there was that look in his eye again, one that was meaningful and promising.

Elizabeth could not pretend—did not want to pretend—that he was not in love with her. That sense that he loved her, that he would take care of her and her family if only she would let him, made her feel safe and as though she were not alone in a hard world where she no longer had any home.

As soon as he was gone, Elizabeth looked at her family, including Jane’s reddened eyes, and suddenly she felt the pain again.

Papa is dead.

Elizabeth and Jane embraced.

“Oh, Lizzy,” Jane said. “It is so hard. Poor Papa. My papa. He—I never will...”

“We just need a little time,” Elizabeth said. “All will seem better with time.”

Mrs. Gardiner hugged them both. “Elizabeth is right. It will all seem better in time. Grief is seldom forever.”

Jane swallowed. “It is not only—I am not always so calm as I think I ought to be, as I try to be. I have been unhappy of late. I tried to pretend I was cheerful, but I really have been miserable. Even though it is wrong to not strive to be content when suffering from misfortune.”

“I knew that you were unhappy,” Mrs. Gardiner said.

“I cannot help but wonder whether I did something awful, and that is why Papa and…why those I love will not remain with me.”

Elizabeth embraced her sister tightly, feeling sick.

Charlotte stood with some awkwardness on the side of the circle.

Jane turned to her and said, “I do not despise you for your good fortune, but I hope you will be kind to us.”

“You have all been my dearest friends my whole life,” Charlotte replied. “I shall do what I might.”

Jane pulled away from Elizabeth and Mrs. Gardiner. She then sat on the sofa and wrapped her arms around her legs. “I shall become a governess. I do not mean to ever marry. There is too much unhappiness at the prospect of forcing myself to enter the state, and whatever lodgings we take will be extremely constrained. This will be easiest for all. Charlotte, Elizabeth once mentioned that your patroness has helped to find other women positions as governesses. Would you be so kind as to ask her to aid me?”

Elizabeth felt a constriction in her throat, a sense that she was selfish while Jane was all that was good.

“Lady Catherine is always delighted to aid anyone who is in need of her good services,” Charlotte said. “I shall be happy to suggest the notion to her.”

Elizabeth’s first thought had been that she would despise being in service; Jane’s first thought had been how to accomplish the task of making everything easier for her family.

Mrs. Gardiner asked, “How did it come about that Mr. Darcy brought you all this way?”