Page 30 of A Prudent Engagement

After a long pause, he said, “I might remove what resentment your mother has of you on account of your refusal of Mr. Collins’s hand. I imagine that must be the cause of your anxiety. I had thought to delay until—”

“No, no.” Elizabeth was suddenly filled with terror. She did not know whether she feared agreeing to marry Mr. Darcy or that she would accidentally refuse him if he asked right at that moment. “Let me bury my father. Allow me to see my papa’s grave first.”

He nodded.

“Mr. Darcy, I am most grateful for your kindness.” She let him help her out of the carriage and smiled at him with tears in her eyes once she was on the ground.

They stood quite close. His scent filled her nostrils.

She continued to smile at him.

She was encouraging him. She knew that she was encouraging him.

And she wanted him to ask. Just not today.

She wanted to tell him that she would marry him, because she felt safe when he stood close to her. He was so large and tall. Imposing to others but warm towards her.

She felt safe in his luxurious carriage; she felt safe surrounded by his capabilities and in the care of his commanding nature. She felt safe because he had immediately taken her home and because he had asked his housekeeper to provide chocolate drops and food for them, and she felt safe because he knew what to say to help her through this awful grief, and if she told him that she could not marry him because she did not love him, she would lose that safety.

It was not luxury, it was not money, it was Mr. Darcy that made her feel safe.

He deserved a woman who could truly tell him that she loved him.

Elizabeth cautiously walked towards her mother, aware of Mr. Darcy watching.

To her surprise, when her mother turned from Mr. Gardiner and Jane, she threw her arms around Elizabeth, exclaiming, “He’s dead! Lizzy, he’s dead!”

That set Elizabeth once more into sobbing, even though she hated crying in front of people, and she clung to her mother tightly.

“I thought you must hate me!” Elizabeth said when their sobs lightened.

“Oh, Lizzy, I could never hate you. Even though you have destroyed my nerves. It is most unfortunate, but none of us had any idea that Mr. Bennet would die so soon.”

This reply utterly astonished Elizabeth, who really had expected deep down for her mother to never say another kind word to her. Or at least not until such time as she had proved that refusing Mr. Collins had been an act of wisdom by marrying a gentleman of many times his consequence.

“Humph,” Mr. Phillips said. “I still think Bennet should have made her marry Collins.”

“No,” Mrs. Bennet said. “What’s done is done.”

Perhaps not aware of the depth of Elizabeth’s bewilderment at how she had been received, her mother turned to Mr. Darcy. “It was most kind of you to bring Lizzy to us so speedily. I never expected that you would show us such kindness. But I am most grateful.”

“It was only what any true gentleman would do,” Mr. Darcy replied sombrely.

Elizabeth could not keep from smiling at that response.

He looked at her and seemed struck. A small smile crossed his face as well, and it made Elizabeth’s stomach twist and tumble.

Mr. Darcy bowed deeply to them all, then he said to Elizabeth, “You must wish to grieve without the presence of one who is not part of the family.”

Elizabeth did not wish for him to go.

But she could not say that, certainly not while her mama watched.

So, he retreated, entered his carriage, tapped the roof with his cane, and set off.

As soon as the vehicle was out of sight, Elizabeth said, “I must see Papa’s body.”

“I am so glad you could come so quickly,” her mother replied. “They say they must bury him tomorrow. He has already begun to smell. I knew you would…” She choked on her words, then continued, “I am happy that you can see him one last time.”