Page 24 of Devil’s Torture

Maybe someday I’ll find out.

From the look on her face, it won’t be tonight.

Bexley nods and glances at me. “We should get going.” She stands up and I match her, my gut knotting at the thought of not being around her. Of not being around Dawn. If I thought I could get away with it, I’d sleep on her couch. “We can do this again, or something similar.”

“I’m available any time. Just let me know. Also, if there’s a problem or if you need help with anything, let me know. I can pick her up from school if you need me to,” I offer and realize I’m rambling.

Badly.

Embarrassingly.

“Dawn,” she calls out for our daughter who immediately looks over and gives a thumbs up.

I watch as Dawn says a few words to her slide partner before heading down the slide herself and right towards us. Honestly, I expected more resistance. I’m incredibly impressed with my woman’s parenting skills.

“Is it time to go, Mom?”

“Yeah,” Bexley pushes some of the sweat-soaked hair away from our daughter’s face, “time to get going for today. We can set something else up soon.”

“Okay,” Dawn chirps.

The next thing I know, Dawn’s arms wrap around my waist and she’s hugging me. My daughter is hugging me. When I hug her back, I keep my movements slow and gentle.

I don’t want to startle her or hurt her. The feeling of having the daughter I never knew about hugging me is like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

Is this anything like what it would have felt like to hold her in my arms moments after she was born? I’ll never get the chance to experience that, but this moment is still really fucking special.

“Thanks for pushing me on the swings,” Dawn’s voice is almost shy.

“Anytime,” the word comes out much gruffer than I intend, but my throat is dry and I’m trying really hard not to cry.

When she lets go of me, I do the same even though I would hold her all night if I could. Bexley’s face is soft in a way I haven’t seen since I got back.

Dawn’s happy voice calls out as they’re leaving, “See you later.”

I stand there for a long time as I watch them leave. Only when they’re gone do I head to my bike and go back to the clubhouse. As I ride, I realize that there’s only one thing for me to do now.

I have to tell Bexley what happened. She might look at me differently, she might hate me, but the truth is the only way forward.

I should have told her what happened ten years ago. I shouldn’t have just followed Lucifer’s order. But I did and that was my choice.

When I step into the clubhouse, instead of walking by everyone, I greet a few brothers while looking for Lucifer. Not seeing him in the main room, I head to his office and find him looking over paperwork. He looks up at me and concern enters his eyes. With a sweeping gesture toward his overrun desk, he almost jokes, “I’ve been drowning in paper for years, I think it’s close to time for me to step back and let someone younger take over before my eyesight goes completely.”

“Prodigal’s ready.”

Lucifer nods once. He takes a deep breath and asks, “How did it go spending time with Dawn?”

A smile breaks out on my face before I can stop myself. “She’s amazing,” I breathe out. “She’s kind and smart and funny.” I look away as I settle into the chair across from his desk. I brace my elbows on my knees and lean forward slightly. “I don’t deserve her in my life.”

“Yes,” his tone leaves no room for argument, “you do.” Before I can open my mouth and argue with him, he keeps going. “I know you’re about to say you don’t because of the jobs you did for the club over the last ten years. You’re wrong, Rune. Those jobs needed to be done, and I’m the one who sent you off to do them; those people simply met the consequences of their own choices.”

I nod, knowing his words are true. Still, that doesn’t make my hands any cleaner.

“How is it going with Bexley?” I’m almost surprised by the caution in Lucifer’s voice as he asks the question.

“She’s not going to budge on opening her heart to me again until I tell her what happened ten years ago.” I meet Lucifer’s eyes and inform him, “I’m going to tell her. I need to.”

He doesn’t argue. He doesn’t tell me it’s club business and to keep her out of it.