Page 41 of Devil’s Torture

“I’m trying not to live in the last ten years or in how much I missed. It’s still fucking with me,” I admit.

Bexley’s brown eyes soften. “It’s a lot to take in. I’m rethinking a lot of things about the last ten years, knowing what I know now. It’s does change things in certain ways, but it doesn’t erase the ramifications either.” She chuckles self-deprecatingly. “It’s still fucking with me,” she echoes, “apparently.”

“I know it’s going to take time with us. I don’t want to rush you or put too many expectations on you, or on this.” It’s hard to push all these words out about my feelings, but I manage it. Just. “The way I see it is that we’re together. We figure out how that progresses, but we work together and we build something. With each other. With Dawn.” I pause before adding, “I don’t want to take over.”

“You’re the king of taking over,” she scoffs while her eyes twinkle. Then her face turns thoughtful. “What does the future look like to you?”

“I want to build the house of our dreams on the compound. There’s enough land and we’d be protected with help right next door whenever we need it. If you’re interested in having more kids,” she blushes and my cock goes rock hard behind the fly of my jeans even though this isn’t the time or place, “then I want that too. However we decide to live together, that’s up to us. I just want to be with my girls.”

She studies my face for a long time. “How can we put the time we lost behind us?”

From the way she asks, I can tell it’s been weighing on her mind. I’ve thought about it and I’m not sure we can. Not completely.

“I don’t know, Bex,” I tell her honestly. “I think it’s something we’ll have to work on together. I have time to make up for and trust to rebuild. It’s not something I can do while ignoring how we got here. But I’m hoping the why will fade as we figure it all out, and we just live our lives with respect to our past, present, and future.”

“Did you become a jedi while on the road?” She squints as she teases me, but I can tell my words landed.

“I did have more than one experience while on desert roads that helped me find some sort of perspective,” I say ominously.

Something shifts on her face, and her tone turns concerned with an edge of panic, “No accidents, though, right?”

My eyebrows pull together as I shake my head slowly. “Nothing major. I stayed upright for years,” I promise.

Her entire body sags with relief. “Oh good, I’ve had too many bad dreams about the alternative,” she says the words absently, like they’re obvious.

“You dreamed I crashed?”

Bexley’s eyes snap to mine and widen. “Is that like a bad ominous biker legend thing? I figured it was just my subconscious fucking with me and all the trauma and heartache crap.”

A laugh bursts from me and Bexley has to press her lips together to stop herself from smiling. She looks way too smug.

“You can tell me all about the dark desert highways some other time,” she teases. Her voice turns more serious, “I don’t want this to move too fast.”

“Moving too fast wasn’t what doomed us before,” I point out. “It was my own cowardice, fear, and need to protect you. But I took your voice and your choice away. I won’t do that again.”

Bexley leans back just as our food arrives. We both eat and I let her think things over. The silence isn’t awkward; there’s something cozy in it.

“We can’t talk about moving to the compound for at least a year,” she offers. When I look at her, she smiles softly. “I need time and we need to transition Dawn into this whole thing.”

“You and Dawn set the pace. I just want you to know that I want it all. The family and the home.”

The conversation shifts to softer topics with gentle nudges from the past which don’t make my chest ache. Talking to her is just as easy now as it was always was. Time passes far too quickly and far too soon we’re walking back to my bike holding hands. It feels natural. Right.

Before I put her helmet on, I pause. “You need to know, Bex, no matter how many miles between us, I never let go of you. I had so many sleepless nights when I couldn’t close my eyes because all I could see and feel was you. I never stopped loving you. Never.”

When I move to raise my hands, she catches my wrists. Tears fill her eyes and her voice wobbles, “I never stopped loving you either.”

She lifts onto her tiptoes and I close the distance; our lips meet sweetly. A promise. A seal.

The ride back to the clubhouse is both too long and far too short. Having my woman’s arms wrapped around me is the kind of perfection I wasn’t sure I would be able to experience again. Now I’m savoring it.

But I also need to get my woman to a bed. Immediately.

She never stopped loving me.

When we pull up outside her place, I’m quick to kill the motor. Because I need to be buried deep in my woman.

“Why are we here?”