Page 37 of Vicious Betrayal

Oksana: Possible meeting at one of their properties. Heard Thursday mentioned; warehouse location, I don't know which one. Can't confirm what it is.

Reyes: Can you get an address?

I can't get an address. I don't know which warehouse, and I'm not going to ask. How would I even pull that off? I can only imagine the look on Cormac's face if I tried. He'd see through me in an instant. I don't know how to be a liar in that way, how to sneak information out of him and make it seem natural. This isn't me. I don't want it to be me.

And more and more with every passing day, I don't want to hurt him like this.

Oksana: No. That's what I have.

She doesn't respond after that. I put my phone away and go back to the kitchen. Cormac comes in a few minutes later, looking like he was dealing with something he didn't enjoy.

"Work?" I ask.

"Always is." He comes over to where I'm standing, and the ease with which he does it, like I'm where he expects to find me, like this is normal, feels so good. I feel at home here. I feel wanted, cared for, desired, and the thought of losing it… of not only losing it, but losing it after the man who makes me feel this way knows I've betrayed him, feels like a weight on my chest that could take the air out of my lungs.

He reaches above my head for a glass, and I back up just a little, right into him. His arm goes around my waist, keeping me there, and my eyes burn.

This isn't anything serious, even if I wasn't spying on him. There's the unspoken knowledge between us that this is just something we're both enjoying until it fizzles out. But more and more, I wonder… what if it didn't? I know Cormac believes that someone my age, someone like me, could never want something serious with an older man like him. But in the dark of the night, as I go over and over the time with him and wonder how the hell I'm supposed to pull this off, I can't help but wonder why not?

Two nights later, he calls when I'm getting ready. I answer with my mascara half done, balanced on one foot pulling on a boot, my heart beating faster when I see his name on the screen. I'm genuinely excited to see him. I haven't seen him for two days, and I've noticed every minute of it.

"I have to cancel tonight," he says, before I've even said hello properly.

I freeze. When I speak, there's more disappointment in my voice than I meant to let on. It's not manufactured to make him feel bad, but I realize in the space of the moment that I'm silent that my disappointment might be a way to get something out of him about what's going on. "You're serious."

"Yeah. I'm sorry."

"What happened?" I let the words draw out a little, a hint of an upset whine in them. I hold my breath briefly, wondering if he'll be annoyed with me. He's quiet for a moment, and I think he is, before he finally speaks. He sounds as if he was deciding how much to say. "We've got some issues with law enforcement paying attention to one of our places. I need to be available tonight."

One of our places. The phrase makes my chest tighten. Just two days ago I told Reyes about a warehouse location. I don't think this is a coincidence. "How bad is it?"

"Manageable. Just requires being there." His voice has the flat quality it gets when he's already mentally on the next problem. "I'll make it up to you."

"You will," I say, and put enough lightness into it to let him relax. "But I want it on record that I'm extremely disappointed."

He chuckles roughly. "Noted."

"I put on a really nice dress, Cormac."

"Take it off and send me pictures later. Better yet, think about me while you do, and send me pictures of that, too."

"Are you going to send me pictures of what you do when you get them later?"

"You want that? Pictures of me stroking my hard dick while I look at you naked?" His voice has roughened, and desire floods through me.

"Yeah," I whisper, and I one-hundred-percent mean it. I want to see that. I want to see it in person. "Damnit, Cormac, I really miss you. I was really looking forward to tonight." There's nothing overperformed about the sadness in my voice when I say it at all, and I bite my lip. I really do wish I could see him.

"I know. I'll make it up to you, I promise."

"Okay," I whisper. "Be careful."

"Always am."

He hangs up, and I let out a shaky breath, falling back onto my bed with one boot still on. My phone is still in my hand, and I stare down at it, feeling frustrated tears prick at my eyes. I miss Cormac and wanted to see him, which is part of it—and the part that I'm aware is very dangerous—but there's more to it, too.

I think about the text I sent Reyes, about the warehouse, and I feel sick.

Declan and Cormac figured out they were being watched. So anything I gave the Feds from that information is probably going to be worthless now. I've just made Cormac's job harder, which means I might see him less, and he's going to be tied up with even more work. I'm back to nothing useful that I've given them, and maybe even less chance of finding something. I've gained no ground at all.