Page 27 of The Vampire’s Ballerina

“It’s me, and we’re fine.” I lean into the cushions. “Are you okay?”

She sighs, and I hear a door close and then a puff of air as she plops down onto a piece of furniture. “Yes. No. I don’t know. Things are complicated here right now.”

“How so?”

“Just crazy shit going on with mate bonds and a missing alpha on top of the attack and—it’s just all a mess.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “Make sure you’re getting rest and taking time for yourself. You’re supposed to be on your honeymoon.”

“That’s what everyone else keeps saying,” she says with a chuckle. “And I don’t need a honeymoon with Wesley. I don’t need a big, fancy, romantic trip with him. I just need him. Being with him is enough, you know?”

I pick at the fuzz on the wool blanket, a soft smile tugging at my lips. “I do.”

She’s quiet for a moment, and I hear her change position. I imagine her curling her legs to her chest and hugging her knees like I’ve seen her do so many times. “So, how are things really?” she asks, her voice quieter, concerned yet curious.

“It’s more than I ever imagined, Haven.” My eyes water. “I’m Peter’s mate. Or the vampire version of that.”

“I suspected as much,” Haven says. There’s a smile in her voice. “I’m really happy for you, Imogen.”

I swallow and cross my arms over my middle again, my stomach clenching and roiling with nerves. “I wanted to ask you something.”

“Of course.”

“What is it like? Knowing that you’re human, and when you die, Wesley will still live without you? How do you deal with that? How does he?”

“What do you mean?” she asks slowly, carefully.

“I mean, he’s immortal, right? Like Peter? So he’ll live forever, but you won’t?”

The line goes silent. Seconds tick by with no response from her. It’s so quiet, I can hear the snowflakes brushing the windows and blanketing the roof.

“That’s not—” Haven takes a deep breath and clears her throat, her voice shaking and emotional. “Wesley won’t live forever. Werewolves and lycans live longer than humans, yes, but not forever. Not like vampires.”

“Oh.”

“When he marked me, he was able to give me some of his years. So I will live longer than a normal human, but he will live shorter than what is normal for a lycan. We—we will probably die together. Or he’ll die shortly after I do.”

“Oh,” I repeat, because what else can I say in response to that? “Right.” My throat tightens, and I scratch at it and then at my nose, tilting my head back and blinking.

“Why do you ask?”

“Peter said the only way for him to mark me is for me to become a vampire too. And I want that, Haven. I want to be bonded to him like you are to Wesley. I’ve never been this happy in my life.”

“But?”

“But I’d have to quit,” I choke out, my tears falling. “I’d have to give up my position in the company and disappear from the face of the earth while I learn how to be a vampire, until I can be in the sun again and control my inhuman abilities.”

“Imogen…”

“What do I do? How do I make that choice? How do I pick between the only two things in the world that make me happy?”

“It wouldn’t be for forever though.” Her voice is soothing, like a hand caressing my hair.

“I know but…” I shake my head, but I don’t need to say anything more.

She knows. She understands. Ballet is the same for her. Her escape, her fortress, her life.

I swipe at my cheeks, but more tears replace the ones I erase. My throat is swollen, and I sniffle, covering my mouth. I hear Haven sigh, and I wish she was here. I wish she was next to me so I could hold her hand, so I could feel her comforting presence, that warmth that she carries wherever she goes.