Page 116 of A Courage of the Chosen

And that’s what this all comes down to. Callahan’s need to safeguard those around him.

He’s been Elfayne’s shield for so long, and somewhere along the way, I became the thing he wants to protect the most.

But he can’t defend me from myself.

He weighs up my words, and the battle wages in his stormy eyes as he looks down at me.

I’m asking him to go against his nature. To blindly trust in something for the first time in his life.

It’s not fair, I know it’s not. I just don’t see another way through this right now, without it fracturing something that’s still so delicate between us. When we’re on the precipice of a war that could destroy this world, and the human one as I know it, I need him to be on my side for a little longer.

While he’s staring at me, wrestling with himself, I make a silent promise. I will tell Callahan. When the time is right, he has to know all of me. If we have even the smallest chance of a future together, he needs to know everything.

“I trust you,” he says eventually, and I can see how much it costs him.

For the first time, I hold onto the little spark that, beyond this fight, there could be a beautiful life waiting for me.

Even if that future being snatched away scares me as much as the dark power that’s swimming through my veins.

Chapter 33

Elsie

I haven’t forgotten how wild the northern parts of Elfayne are. I had forgotten how the lack of sunlight seeps into my soul, worming its way between the cracks to play on my fears. It barely penetrates through the thick canopy, and the temperature drops the farther we travel, turning from a pleasant crispness to damp and cloying, as though the tendrils of nature are climbing into my lungs, rooting themselves there with the scent of thick moss, and the unrelenting will to survive in whatever way they can.

Our second day on the road starts as all the others on my travels across Elfayne have. A quiet breakfast over a small fire, guards with tired eyes, who took the latest shift before dawn, and a grueling day of riding ahead.

Despite the lack of privacy, or normal bathroom facilities, I actually enjoy it. It strips me of everything that I might’ve held onto, both here and in the human world, and forces me to be in the moment. Completely at one with my body and mind in a way that I haven’t been able to achieve, despite logging many hours on my favorite meditation app.

Everyone else has relaxed, too, and the guards traveling with us are slowly referring to me by name, instead of ‘Your Majesty’. I’ve had to request it multiple times since we left the city, but they’re getting there. I think the fact Brodie absolutely doesn’t care about my title is helping them let go of the formalities, given that he has zero decorum or filter.

“Are you too proper to fold your own tent away now, or are you mucking in with the rest of us?” He jabs me in the ribs as he stands to pack away camp.

“Remind me why I thought bringing you along for this was a good idea?” I counter, as he tugs me to my feet and I brush the leaves off my ass.

His grin is wide. “Because you love me, and you needed someone to lighten the mood.”

I chuckle to myself as I make a start on collapsing the tent Callahan and I shared last night.

“I didn’t hear you denying it,” Brodie chirps while he skirts around me to begin working on the one he and Rach used.

“I’m not boosting your ego for you. If it gets any bigger, you’ll float away.”

Brodie stops what he’s doing and looks to the skies, like he’s picturing what he would look like drifting among the clouds.

“Honestly, he’s insufferable,” Rach joins in, helping me roll my tent into the straps that keep it secured to the saddle.

“Yet, you’re in love with him.”

She sighs dreamily at my reply, eyes coasting over to him as he gets back to his task. “I am.”

“Speaking of love,” she begins again, after a few beats of quiet, “We glossed over it the other night.”

Though I don’t meet his stare, Callahan’s gaze prickles my back, as he tries to listen in to the conversation between me and his twin.

“What about it?” I say under my breath.

“Anyone with functioning eyes in their head can see the way he feels about you. But I’ve got to ask, Els, do you feel the same?”