Page 67 of A Courage of the Chosen

For now.

Callahan pulls me so that I’m surrounded by him completely. It’s the only thing that gives me the strength to maneuver around the connection again, and shut Tavish out as much as I can. Shame curdles in my chest. That I’m using Cal. Drawing on him to push away my demons, and the Seelie that haunts me.

Eventually, the lull of his deep breathing and soothing scent loosens the tension in my neck and shoulders, and I relax for the first time in hours.

“I’m going to raise going to Ruival with the council tomorrow. We can’t delay any longer.” My words are muffled by a yawn.

“Okay. We’ll lay out a plan for after you’ve addressed the court.”

I roll over and hitch a leg around Callahan’s waist, pressing myself even closer to him. He doesn’t stop me, but his back locks up so subtly that I wouldn’t notice if I didn’t have my fingers pressed into his spine.

He hasn’t pressured me for sex, and he grows hard where he rests between my legs.

I want him.

So badly.

He claims me in a way that no one else ever has.

I haven’t been intimate with him since that second night together, because Cal lowers all of my defenses, and I don’t know what will come spilling out when he does. He doesn’t deserve to find out like that. So, I keep him teetering on this precarious edge.

His hands dig in where they’re resting on my back and hip. Along our bond, Callahan’s arousal filters into my chest and cascades through my body before settling somewhere low.

Fuck.

“I thought we were supposed to be sleeping?” I deflect with a tease.

“I can’t help it, mo sholas. You’re so fucking amazing, and beautiful, and this is more than I ever thought it could be.”

I bury my head in his chest to hide the look on my face, planting a single kiss in the soft hair on his defined pecs.

“I can control myself.” There’s a smile in his voice. Then, the air around him grows serious. “I know there’s something going on with you, Elsie.”

Pulse hammering in my throat, heart thumping with it, I ease back to look up at him.

“You don’t have to tell me what it is, and I won’t ask again. But whatever it is, you can tell me. I’ve got you. I thought you knew that.”

And there it is. The pain in his stormy eyes, that I haven’t trusted him enough to come to him with this.

I don’t ask how he knows. Don’t utter a single word as I tentatively place my head back on his chest and shut my eyes against the tears that want to break free.

As I drift off into a restless sleep, it dawns on me that it’s going to come out eventually, and there’s one question that plagues me.

What’s going to happen when he discovers the truth?

◆◆◆

Today’s council meeting has been fairly straightforward, and the final arrangements have been made for the gathering happening in a few short hours. The topic of conversation is now centered around Erin, and the message that came with her.

“She must be from one of the northern villages that have fallen recently,” Lord Garside offers with a grim expression.

“I’ll see to it that she has somewhere to stay in the city,” Lady Calder offers gently.

“She’ll stay in the palace,” I reply.

“Are you sure, Your Majesty?” The question comes from Lord Haddow, and it’s the first time he’s used my title.

I pause for a beat before replying. “She’s a child. She’s completely alone, and we don’t know what’s happened to her. She needs our protection, not for us to hand her off to the first person that will have her.”