Page 74 of Hearts on the Mend

When I step out of my closet, my heart sinks, and rage bubbles up in my chest. I need one thing to go right this morning. One. Fucking. Thing.

“Ruby, babe, you can’t wear shorts today. There’s two feet of snow outside. And the astronaut—” My brain blanks, desperate to land on the word. “Backpack has to stay at home.”

“Actually, it’s a jetpack, Mom. Well, Nollie told me it’s called an MMU, short for Manned⁠—”

“It needs to stay home. You’re going to forget it at Dad’s, and then⁠—”

My phone pings.

Matt: Can’t grab Ruby today after all. Sorry.

My eyes slam shut, and I suck in a deep inhale, desperate to recenter myself before I say something I’m going to regret. It’s bad enough Nolan and I are on icy terms since the other day.

There’s not a chance I’m going to let Matt off via text. It takes a minute before he picks up.

“Don’t beg, Cass. Never liked it, even in bed.”

Blood pumps hard in my ears as I take another breath, biting back the string of expletives. Another time.

Go, I mouth to Ruby, pointing toward the door. She stomps the whole way to her bedroom, then slams the door. Fine. “You were supposed to be here five minutes ago, Matt. You can’t just cancel. I have to be at North Point in twenty minutes.”

“Told you no. You’ll figure it out. You always do.”

“That’s not the point.” I pinch the bridge of my nose, then reach down on the bed for my zippered hoodie. “We agreed⁠—”

“That’s changed. I know our meeting with the lawyers got pushed until next week because of the nor’easter, but we’ll talk about custody then.”

“You can’t hold that over my head. Custody? We’re talking about a visitation schedule.”

“Don’t have to get snippy. We’ll handle it all then.”

“Ruby has the day off from school, and I’m scheduled to work. I need to work. It’s not optional.”

“Someone can cover your shift.”

“Yeah, you, Matt. You were supposed to be my childcare today.”

A dry, brittle laugh echoes from his end of the phone. I know I haven’t had coffee or breakfast yet, but it has the remarkable ability of making me nauseous.

“Something came up. Maybe you should have thought more about how you were going to juggle being a mother and work before now. Listen, I’ve gotta go.”

Before I can say anything else, he hangs up.

My ears ring, my hands tingle, and my room fades around me for a second.

“Mom?”

Cold panic claws up my chest. The only person I want isn’t here—he probably doesn’t even like me after the shit I told him the other day. But I don’t get the luxury of falling apart. And it’s not like I blame him. I’m giving myself whiplash trying to manage everything and figure out what I need, never mind what I want.

I force an even tone and head for the door. “Fleece leggings are a better choice. Thank you. Let’s go. I need you to get your boots and coat on. Dad couldn’t make it today.”

“Knew it.”

Doesn’t matter that she mumbles those words. They still rip my heart apart.

“He’s busy and says sorry.”

She collapses to the floor and pulls on a purple unicorn boot with a grunt. “He doesn’t really mean it when he says sorry. I hate when grown-ups lie.”