Page 108 of UNAwere

‘Oh, sweetheart,’ he murmurs. ‘It’s happening again, is it?’

‘Mmh.’

His mouth is against my hairline, and then he’s lowering me into a bath that’s being filled with cold water. I try to clutch at him when he draws back, and he shushes me, kneeling outside the bath, pushing my hair behind my ears.

‘I t-tried to shower,’ I say. ‘I-I just… need… you.’

‘I’m here, honey.’ He kisses my forehead again.

‘Release,’ I whisper, my voice strained. ‘Like the other times.’

‘We have to get you cool.’ He sighs. ‘This one is stronger than the others.’

I’m inclined to agree with him. This one feels more painful, more delicious, more gnawing. I want him. Against me. In me. Again and again.

‘Jude…’

He gets up. ‘I’m getting ice.’

I shake my head. ‘Just… let me.’ My hand lowers between my legs, and I hear him groan.

‘We can do that, sweetheart,’ he says. His voice is gentle but strained. ‘Just not until you’ve cooled down first.’

He races from the room. Every second that he’s gone feels excruciating. My back arches and I cry out, thrashing, writhing. It’s wrong. Him not being here, with me. But when he comes back, he has a bucket of ice and throws it into the bath. The cold hits my skin, and I swear I hear it sizzle.

I moan, nodding.

‘That’s my girl,’ he says.

‘Jude…’

‘You’re alright. I’m here.’

‘I’m sorry.’

His lips are against my forehead again. ‘You have nothing to apologise for.’

‘I know you don’t like me,’ I say, tears stinging my eyes. ‘I-I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what else to do.’

‘I like you more than anyone I know, Sybbie,’ he says, his fingers in my hair. He rubs them against my scalp, and I moan, eyes rolling back. ‘You’re actually really fucking hard to dislike.’

‘Really?’ I tilt my head and meet his eye.

He gazes back, and his pupils are completely blown, and I realise he’s holding something back.

‘Yeah,’ he whispers.

I stare at his mouth, finding it cute how his top lip is barely visible under his moustache. ‘Kiss me.’

He blinks. Sucks in a breath. ‘I can’t, Red.’

Another surge comes, and I moan, clamping my thighs together. His nostrils flare, and he picks me up, the ice completely melted now. I drip all over his floors, but he doesn’t seem to care. I certainly don’t. I need exactly what he’s going to give me, and I’m writhing for it, clinging to him, kissing and licking his neck.

‘Oh, Sybbie, if you keep doing that, I’m not going to be able to keep a hold of my restraint.’

We’re in his bed, and he’s over me, and I’m moaning again, rubbing myself against the length of his body.

‘I don’t want you to,’ I say, and I mean it. Regardless of this heat, I know I want him. I know I have feelings for him, and it hurts to think that we can’t have this for real. ‘Jude, I want you so badly.’