Page 29 of A SEAL’s Vigilant Heart

“Sophia, this guilt has been with you a long time. I think you might need some help seeing things clearly. Remember when you were having trouble after the attack?”

“You think I need counseling for this?” Sophia thought about the woman who had helped her before. She’d had a great deal of insight and Sophia had felt really comfortable talking to her.

“Maybe you’re right, Mason. I can’t seem to get over this by myself. But God, you helped so much. Pretending this was Billy and I really helped.”

“I’m glad. There is something else that might make you feel better. You have the opportunity to kick my ass for being a dumb shit.” She tilted her head.

“Seriously, Soph, I fucked up. I assumed.”

“I thought we’ve covered this before.” She stroked his arm. He seemed to be feeling real badly.

“Just know I was trying to protect you.”

“Dammit, Mason.” She pushed up from the pillows. “I thought we got past that too. I’m a big girl. If I need your protection, I’ll ask for it.”

“You’ve got to admit, you’ve been twisted up lately. You’ve been having nightmares, and you haven’t been eating. It all happened when I came back from the last mission with my shoulder wound.”

“Yeah, because of this unresolved stuff with Mom.”

“I know that now.”

“Okay, so you assumed it was about your injury. It’s not a big deal, but something sure as hell is. Spill it.”

“I decided to take a desk job.” She shoved at his chest. He didn’t budge it was like pushing at a wall which just made her angrier.

“You decided to take a fucking desk job. Without talking to me? All because you thought I was upset? Mason, I can’t believe this. You love leading your team. When did you make this decision? Have you talked to Osterman? Have you talked to your team? Am I the last one to know?” She kicked out from under the covers and stood up so she could stand over him. He bowed his head.

“No, yes, and no.”

“God dammit!” She spun around and slapped her hand against the wall. Then she turned back so she stood over him again. “I’m so mad at you. Even if I was scared about your job, it was for us to talk over. This wasn’t something for you to make a unilateral decision.”

“Sophia, you know you would never ask me to stop leading the team even if it was tearing you apart. You’d just waste away.”

“You’re not giving me credit for being an adult.”

“Yes, I am. I’m giving you credit for being the most caring and loving and compassionate woman I have ever met.”

“Apparently a compassionate airhead,” she growled.

“I’m so sorry. What can I say? I fucked up. It was an epic fuck up, and I have learned my lesson.” Mason was still on the bed, looking at her, wearing his heart on his sleeve.

“Do you know how important this is to me? Can you understand this Mason? I have to trust you to be honest with me. I can’t go into a marriage with someone who doesn’t think I’m an equal.” She turned away, and he reached out and gently grabbed her around her waist.

“Please, baby. You’re not just my equal you’re my everything. I would be lost without you.”

Sophia stood still.

“I sometimes forget just because you are so loving, underneath you’re the one who has kept your family together. You’re the strong one. But please know it’s a knee-jerk reaction for me to protect everyone not just you.” She thought about him with his team and realized it was his nature, and she turned in his arms.

“Mason, this is serious. You can’t do this again.”

“I promise, I won’t. I will talk to you about all things that impact our family.”

“On your honor?”

“On my honor.”

“I’m mad at you, but I love you. That hasn’t changed.”