Page 67 of Home Again

“Did Armand go grocery shopping?” Gideon wanted to know.

“Probably the concierge service.”

Gideon pulled out cold cuts. “I’m going to make us sandwiches.”

“Whatever.”

Sebastian sat down on the couch and called up Gianna’s video on his phone. He kept it on mute as he watched for the fifth time. Each time was worse.

“Hey!” Sebastian exclaimed when Gideon pulled his phone out of his hands.

“Here. Eat.” His friend handed him a plate with a sandwich on it. “Armand might be here soon.”

Gideon was right. Sebastian took the plate and dug in.

“Why’d you come to Louisiana anyway?” Sebastian asked. “I’ve been meaning to ask you.”

“You never came back home before and I knew what happened with your mom and dad.”

Gideon took a bite of his sandwich and swallowed. “When I talked to you, I have never heard your rage so close to the surface, and we’ve been in some hideous situations. I was worried.”

Sebastian tightened his lips. He hated this. Relying on teammates when they were on a mission was one thing, but during a personal situation?

“Fuck, Durand,” Gideon shot up out of his seat, practically throwing his plate on the coffee table. “You’re one fucked up fool, you know that?”

What was Gideon talking about? Sebastian didn’t respond, just waited for the man to have his say.

“Kostya wanted to come too, did you know that?”

Sebastian’s spine went stiff.

My lieutenant wanted to come to Louisiana?

“Your family was so fucked up that you still haven’t even figured out how friends work. You’re going to have to figure this shit out, and fast. We’re not just your teammates on a fucking mission, we’re your teammates, your friends, and your brothers all the goddamn time. We have your back in all aspects of your life. And if you don’t understand how that shit works, you’re going to fuck it up with the woman that is taking up your entire headspace.”

Sebastian threw down his plate then grabbed the hair at the back of his head. “What are you talking about? Gianna?”

“Give the man a cigar,” Gideon growled at him. “Sebastian, the entire time I’ve known you, except for the members of Omega Sky, you’ve had no real emotional attachments, and that’s because you’ve been fucked in the head by your family. But I didn’t know it was so bad that you wouldn’t understand that your brothers wouldn’t want to help you outside of a mission.”

Sebastian felt something akin to panic choking him. “That’s not true, I’m attached to Philly and Neil.”

“The Heberts? The people who care for the house where you grew up? How come I’ve never once heard of them? Have you ever been in contact with them since you left Louisiana?”

Sebastian tried to swallow but was having a hard time.

“Exactly. I didn’t think so. Man, you’re shut tighter than a mummy’s tomb. You gotta stop it. You gotta know there are people you can trust outside of work, and you gotta let people in. Now excuse me, I gotta take a piss.”

Sebastian watched Gideon as he stomped down the hall. He felt like he’d just been through a meatgrinder. He got up and looked in the fridge. He found a beer and took it out onto the deck, then leaned back where he could see the entrance to the apartment. He spied his phone on the coffee table, but he didn’t have the energy to go get it. It didn’t matter, he needed a minute to think.

Hell, I need a month to think.

He took a pull from his beer.

Am I really that emotionally closed off?

His jaw clenched. What in the hell was Gideon thinking going at him like that? Gianna had been kidnapped, and she could end up dead. Really? Was now really the time to be throwing down some bullshit psychoanalysis?

Sebastian looked at his phone again. His fingers itched to grab it and watch the video again; he desperately needed to see Gianna’s face. What was happening to her right now?