Page 56 of His Wounded Heart

I take a deep breath, and read the letter for a third time. I need to think. Was there anyone I could talk to about this? If I talk to any of my family, I’ll need to explain about Brantley and everything that had happened. That will be awful.

My phone rings and I jerk up. I swivel my head a couple of times, then see it on the coffee table. I pick it up on the second ring. The number isn’t familiar, so I let it continue to ring. Wait, that’s a Virginia area code. It has to be Simon. My thumb hovers over the answer button, but I let the call go to voicemail.

I can’t cope with him. First there was Bella this morning, now this letter from Brantley’s attorney. It’s too much.

“Ow!”

I yank my thumb away from my mouth. Darn it! I’ve bitten my nail down to the quick. Just how long have I been on my couch, rocking back and forth, darn near sucking my thumb?

What am I, a three-year-old?

I grab my phone and look at the time. Yep, about forty-five minutes, pissed into the wind. I see the Virginia number and hesitate, then realize it’s time for me to pull up my big girl panties.

No meltdowns for this girl.

I get up off the couch, holding my phone and the letter. I need some time to think. There’s no reason to do anything now. The attorneys want something from me, so I’m in the driver’s seat. They can wait.

Despite the best pep talks in my repertoire, I melt down. At least it was less than an hour. I pull up Simon’s voicemail and listen to it. Maybe that will make me feel better. He wants me to call him. Thank Goodness. A distraction.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Simon, it’s me, Trenda.”

“Hi, Trenda, I was hoping you’d be able to call back today.”

I attempt to put a little bit of excitement into my voice. “Have you been doing any more rally car racing lately?”

Nope, not excited. I sound like a sad clown.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I sigh. “How are you?”

“I saw the empty Tupperware dish in Luther’s room. He ate all of your brownies.”

“You went to see Luther? That’s so nice of you.” And it was.

“It was no big deal, but I didn’t see any signs of brownies when I went and saw Violet and Bernie, however Bernie told me you had been by to see him, as well. Violet’s still pretty weak, so I didn’t have much time with her. I was able to film a little video that I showed Luther today.”

I perk up. “That’s genius. How did Luther react? Did it calm him down?”

“A little. He thought Violet was on TV. So tomorrow he wants to see her on TV again. He wants cookies, and he wants Trenda. I said I could deliver on all three. I thought we could visit everybody together tomorrow, while Bella is in school. What do you think?”

That could be perfect, or it could be really bad. I’m already thinking about Simon too much, and why would I want to see him when I am darn near at rock bottom? I have to get my head together before I see any human being, especially some man that I for sure know is going to end up being bad for me.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Simon.”

I yank my thumb away from my mouth.

No biting of the fingernails!

“If not today, maybe tomorrow?”

I realize he’s coaxing me. Why does he really want me to go? The last time he had me going anywhere with him, I ended up crying all over him and he had to follow my butt home because he thought I’d drive my SUV into a tree. If I were him, I would be running in the opposite direction as fast as humanly possible.

“Like I said, I don’t think us going anywhere together is a good idea.”

There is a long pause. It is so long I look down at my phone to see if he’s still on the line.