Page 63 of His Wounded Heart

“Trust me, it’s ugly,” she murmurs right before taking another ladylike sip of her beer.

“You’ve said that a few times. Have you ever shared this supposed ugly past with anyone, or have you let it fester to where it is a gargantuan monster hiding in your closet?”

I smiled at her ladylike snort of mirth.

“Gargantuan, huh?” She questions me as she turns her head.

“Godzilla-sized.” I nod.

Her shoulders slump and she rests her beer between her legs. “I was so stupid when I was young,” she whispers. I can hear the heartbreak in her voice.

“Is this about Bella’s father?”

“Yeah. I can never regret him having been in my life.” She looks up at me. “How could I? I wouldn’t have my daughter if it weren’t for him.”

“She’s gorgeous. You’re right, you can’t regret having Bella, but it seems to me that he’s left some scars that you still haven’t addressed.”

“Addressed? That’s one word for it, I guess. You’re right, I haven’t talked to anyone about this. If I ever mention this to Drake, he will go berserk. Of course now that he’s dead, he won’t have a target… Then there are my sisters. If I had told them way back when, they would have treated me like a porcelain doll and I would have hated that. What’s more, I couldn’t let that happen.”

“Why not?” It didn’t make sense.

“I’m the big sister. They need to lean on me, not the other way around.”

“Even if you were hurting?”

She twists around and tucks her leg under her butt so she’s facing me. “Oh really? Were you hurting after your divorce?”

I rub the back of my neck. “Yes.”

“Who’d you talk to?”

“I talked a whole hell of a lot to my friend Liam McAllister. Poor bastard was sick of hearing from me.”

“What about your sister or your mother? Did you talk to them about your divorce?”

“My sister, no. My mom, a little bit. I told her it was better we divorced before we brought kids into the mix.”

“So, you went to Liam’s house and cried on his shoulder? How much Kleenex did you go through?”

I raise my eyebrows. “Really?”

“That’s my point exactly. You might have bitched about it. You might have even said it was bothering you. Did you even once say you were hurt or devastated?”

I think back to ten years ago, when Patsy left me. I’d done the typical guy thing of just emotionally shutting down until she had no other choice but to leave. I hadn’t realized that until two years later when I saw one of my men pull the same stunt.

“I take your point,” I tell Trenda. “No, I never said I was hurt or devastated because I wasn’t. I was pissed. I felt betrayed. I tried to figure it out with Liam; being angry was the only emotion I felt comfortable talking about.”

“Then why in the world do you think I would have talked about mine to my sisters? Is it because I’m a woman?”

I am so screwed.

“Yes,” I slowly admit. “I guess it is.” I give her a half grin. “I’m in trouble, right?”

“Since you realize you should be, you’re only half a point in trouble.” Her eyes have a bit of a sparkle.

“I get what you’re saying, Trenda. I really do. I just have one question. Okay, two. Aren’t you the woman who told me that her ugly past was biting her in the ass today? Two, don’t you think it’s about time you got it out into the open so that it isn’t something that’s fermenting, kind of like a fungus?”

I feel like I’ve just won a battle when she smiles.