Page 25 of Between Love & Ruin

“I don’t think it’s a bad idea,” I add, careful to keep my voice calm and composed. “I will get to be a part of this project and not just for namesake. I will get to see everything—the casting, the way they make a big book into a small movie. It will open up more opportunities for me, and I think the readers of my book also deserve that the story they fell in love with comes to life perfectly.”

When I first heard they wanted film rights, the thoughts that came to my mind were the fact that what if they turn my book into one of those misrepresented movies with bad direction, inappropriate casting and something made to feed the commercialized market?

I was a little relieved when I got to know Dominic didn’t want to do that to me and my book.

After a very long time, I felt some excitement about a project, some hope in my career, and even if I don’t like him, I have to give a little credit to him.

“I think this is bullshit,” he says. “Why do you need to stay in NYC? You can work remotely. People do it all the time.”

“I know, but I don’t see any harm in this. I will also get to be close to my cousins and uncle and aunt.”

“If you want to stay here and get in with Wolfe, then that’s a different story, but I won’t allow this,” he says, and my blood boils faster than milk.

“What do you mean by that?”

“Don’t bullshit me, Sienna,” he says, his eyes red, and I can’t find a single bone in my body that gives a fuck. “I know how things work in the industry. It doesn’t make sense how a man as influential as him wants to work with you.”

I scoff at the audacity of this man. You would think men would think before they open that stinky mouth of theirs, but that’s thinking too highly of them.

Even in this economy, the most expensive thing is the way we women put up with these men with our mental health.

“I don’t care what you think, Mark.” I try to keep my tone in check while making sure he gets my point and gets it in his brain that I am not changing my decision. “I didn’t call to ask for your opinion. I wanted to share this with you because I will be staying here. I am not letting go of my dreams because your ego takes a hit.”

“My ego?” he scoffs in disbelief. “It’s about your ego. You are seriously prioritizing that man over me. The one you don’t even know.”

“I am not prioritizing any man, let alone Dominic. I am prioritizing myself, my dreams, and my career. I am done with always putting our relationship first. I have lost myself enough already, and I won’t do it again. You don’t consult me before going on trips or making big business decisions, so I don’t understand how you think you have any right to expect me to consult you about mine.”

He clenches his jaw, and I know how terrible this argument would be in person. But I am tired of catering to his needs and wants. I am trying to hold this relationship together—if you can even call it that. Even if the notion that the spark dies after a while is true in real life, I don’t think it should be affecting me as much as it has.

I don’t think I was supposed to lose myself in the way of loving a man who couldn’t care about me or my efforts.

“So you have made up your mind.”

I had not. This is why I had said I would discuss it with him, and even if it was an excuse to cut short the meeting with Dominic, I still wanted to know if he would be as nice as he pretends to be.

I was proven wrong.

“Yes.”

“Suit yourself,” he says before hanging up on me, and I am left there, staring at a black screen, trying to figure out what to do with this life that I was proud to build.

And in the anger and the haste that I keep feeling even after twenty minutes of our call, I decide to do something that wouldn’t be called professional.

I text Dominic Wolfe a big fat yes to his proposal on his personal mobile number that Aisha gave me to use only in the case of an emergency.

And when I see the message ticks go blue and see him typing on the other end, I realize that I might have landed myself in a trap bigger than what I just left a few minutes before.

Dominic Wolfe

Ever felt like some higher power was listening to your inner monologue and decided to grant you whatever it was that you were asking for? Because that’s exactly how I feel when I see Sienna’s name pop up on my phone.

It is actually silly and pathetic the way I smile like an idiot staring at the phone screen, not able to believe what I just read.

I have never been one to yearn, but God, this woman makes me feel like I should be on my knees even for the simplest things, like getting a yes from her for a business project.

Without thinking twice, I respond back and hope and pray that she doesn’t go to sleep without reading my texts.

Because I know I won’t be able to sleep after that.