Page 2 of Coastal Rewind

I will not cry today.

That was the mantra that got me through the hard years. It was what I repeated in my head so I could support my younger siblings without crumbling in front of them.

There was a soft knock at my door before my dad slipped inside and made his way over to the bed, a light pink envelope in his hands. He sat on the edge of the mattress in front of me, facing away and taking a deep breath.

“This is for you. I’ve never wanted to give it to you, but I made a promise. If you want to talk about it, I’m always here.” He tapped the envelope twice with his knuckle before standing and leaving the room.

I reached out and dusted my fingers over the writing on the envelope. I’d recognize it anywhere. Hesitantly, I popped open the seal and slid out the folded up paper inside. The moment I read my name in her writing a second time, the tears started to fall.

Ryleigh,

My first baby girl. If you’re reading this note, I fear that means you are plagued with the knowledge that we are one and the same. I’m so sorry for doing this to you, sweetie. You don’t deserve this burden. If you’re reading this, it also means I’m not there to tell you in person all the things I want to.

The hardest part about all this is that I have no idea how old you are. What I would tell you at ten years old is different from what I would tell you at twenty-two, so I’m going to keep it simple.

A diagnosis like this is no reason to live in fear. Go out into the world and live your life, consequences be damned. Live freely like the spirited girl I’m positive you will turn out to be.

I don’t regret having you or your siblings. Don’t think for one second this is any of your faults. I love you all with all my heart and I can’t wait until I meet you in the next lifetime so we can live it all over again.

For now, I will leave you with five simple rules to always remember as you blossom into the scary world.

#1 Fear has no place here. Go for it. Always.

#2 Don’t run away from love. Sometimes the best love stories are the short ones.

#3 Don’t live your life to meet other people’s standards. Do what makes your big heart happy.

#4 Don’t kill Owen. The bond you share is one of the most special bonds there is. Hold onto it, even as you grow old and take separate paths in life.

#5 Live big, baby girl. Say yes to the adventure.

Love,

Mom

I closed the trunk of my new Subaru Crosstrek and took a deep breath as the sun beat down on me.

This was it. This was the moment I chose to go off on my own. The moment I decided to write my own story.

I turned to face my siblings who were all huddled together at the base of the front stairs. My dad was smiling, but his eyes told me he was fighting back showing his worry. I’d always been able to read him no matter how well he tried to hide it.

Owen and I graduated high school only a few weeks ago and it was time to step out into the world. When I first told Dad I was deferring my acceptance to Coastal Crest University to take a job at a mountain resort in Tennessee, I thought he was going to handcuff me to his private jet and brainwash me into saying I was making a mistake. But he didn’t. I think a piece of him knew I needed this—knew I needed time to figure out who I was and what my new future would look like.

It had been three months since we’d gone to the doctor’s office. Three months since my world spun upside down. Three months since my mother’s words inspired me to change the way I looked at my life.

Keegan ran at me first, followed by her twin Nolan. I gripped them tight in my arms as Keegan broke into a sob. Maeve walked up to her and pulled her into a hug so Keegan could cry on her shoulder. I kissed Maeve’s head and gave her a squeeze, before walking up to Aiden. He was standing stoically with his arms crossed, fighting back any emotions that might show on his face. I reached up and poked his cheek before he broke into a soft smile and pushed my hand away.

“Come back, okay?” he whispered into my hair as he pulled me into a hug.

“I’ll always come back to you guys,” I said, cupping his cheek.

He nodded and let me go as I took a step toward the person I was absolutely dreading saying goodbye to.

Owen was pacing in front of the entryway of the estate, his fingers linked behind his neck.

“Owen, look at me,” I pleaded softly.

“Do you have pepper spray? A knife? Bear spray? What if there are bees?” His chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace as he kept mumbling about survival items we needed to go buy so I’d be safe on the road.