Page 68 of Coastal Rewind

“Nothing helps.”

“You’ve experienced this your entire life?”

“Since I was twelve.” She nodded.

“Why does it happen?”

She was quiet. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but it was clearly something she didn’t talk about.

“I have endometriosis. It’s a condition that causes cysts on my ovaries, and sometimes they’re bigger than others or they burst and it’s extra painful.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through that.” I kissed the top of her head.

She shrugged. “It’s my normal. My mom had it, too.”

We sat in the water for a while, letting the heat soak in and not talking. Ryleigh shifted in my arms and looked up at me. “I have to tell you something.”

“You can tell me anything.”

She hesitated before whispering, “I can’t have kids.”

I froze. “What?”

“My condition makes it extremely unlikely that I will ever carry a child.” It sounded like a rehearsed statement—robotic. She glanced up at me nervously. “When I was eighteen, I had a miscarriage. My high school boyfriend and I were reckless…and I got pregnant. I didn’t even know I was pregnant until I started bleeding. When they were treating me, they found a tumor.

“It was benign, and I chose to not have it removed to preserve what I could of my ovary. At the time, it made the most sense to me. They had planned to just monitor it to make sure it never turned into cancer. That’s what happened to my mom. She pushed her body until it broke. Mine was broken before I even started…

“Anyway, the doctor told me that it would be extremely difficult for me to conceive, and if I did, then there was a very strong chance that my body couldn’t handle the imbalance of hormones. It could literally kill me. I was eighteen and lost. I left home and I never went back.”

“Ryleigh.”

“I know that probably makes you not want to continue seeing me, and I complete⁠—”

“What?”

She looked up at me again, her eyes filled with fear. “I’m not ever going to be a mom.”

“I heard you. I just don’t care.”

“You don’t?” Tears started filling her eyes, and I watched her visibly try to swallow them down.

“Baby, I’m not with you because I think you’re going to pop out ten kids. I’m with you because you make my life better every single day I get to experience having you. I’m with you because of your sense of adventure. I’m with you because of the love you show for my son. I’m with you because you’re funny and beautiful and see the best in everyone. We all have our own battles in life and I’m going to support you through yours, okay?”

She shook on a sob. “I don’t deserve you.”

I shifted her on my lap so her head was leaning into my chest. My arms wound around her as my chin rested on her head.

“You deserve so much more than me, Ryleigh Kelly. You deserve the entire fucking world.”

She blinked her eyes open but didn’t respond. Her fingers started trailing small circles on my chest as she curled farther into me. When she reached the small gold necklace that rested around my neck, her fingers stilled.

She sat up, gripping the charm in her fingers. Her eyes were wide in shock as they stared at my chest.

“Where did you get this?” she rushed out.

I looked down at the little charm that all but saved my life.

“The day I told Shay I was offered the Sparrows contract, she told me to choose her or the team. I stormed out of her apartment to clear my head and walked to this park, begging the universe to send me a sign of where I was supposed to be. I sat on a bench and looked down. Saw this necklace sitting there and that was my sign that my choice wasn’t between Shay or the Sparrows. The choice was always MJ, and California was where he was meant to be.”