Page 8 of Coastal Rewind

I barked out a laugh. “Play me in poker since you’re so positive I’m not a gambler.” I fluttered my lashes at him innocently.

“Why do I feel like you’d hustle me with no regrets.”

“Because I absolutely would. If you’re naive enough to lose your money, that isn’t my problem.” I shrugged.

Mason chuckled and tipped his head back. “A smile as bright as sunshine but the soul of a shark.”

His words made me smile, but before I could respond, a firework shot off from the back deck of the house.

“I should probably go before Nolan sets the house on fire, again.” I walked past Mason, placing my hands in my back pockets as I approached the gate that led to the back patio.

“Good night, Sunshine,” he said, making me stop in my tracks.

I glanced back over my shoulder and met his eyes. “Good night, Superstar.”

“No, no, no, no, no,” I mumbled as I tried to turn over the engine of my van for the tenth time in a row. The stuttering sound of the starter was threatening to drive me insane as it refused to turn over. “Fuck!” I screamed, slamming both hands on the wheel.

I tore open the door and stepped out, slamming it behind me with a muffled scream. I was aware that I was probably overreacting. So it won’t start? I could just get it fixed at a local garage and stay here with my siblings for a few more days. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

Except, that meant more days feeling trapped.

More days where everyone lived their lives around me while I pretended like I had a single thing or person to cling to.

The baby shower went well—it was fun even—but my battery was about depleted when it came to pretending I wasn’t seconds away from a panic attack. I loved watching my sister live out her dreams of having a family. I was so happy for Keegan and the rest of my siblings as they shifted into married life. But part of me just simply couldn’t handle watching them live the life I thought would be mine. The one I wanted and watched quickly slip through my fingers.

I could never say that to them, though.

It was why I’d kept this secret for so long.

It wasn’t their fault I wouldn’t get those things and I wouldn’t bring them down by making it all about me and my pain. The best thing for me to do when I felt this way was to leave and find a new adventure. A new place that brought me joy. New people to learn from. When that got too overwhelming, I’d move on again. And again. If you never stop long enough to put roots down, then you never realize just how lonely and mundane a life of solitude could be.

I loved the thrill of moving around, it was the quiet and calm that scared me the most.

A few hours later, the van had been towed to the closest mechanic. I was waiting by the phone to hear if I would be leaving like I had planned or stuck in this alternate reality for a few more days.

I was sitting at the kitchen island with my knees tucked under my chin, staring at my phone as it sat on the counter—not ringing.

“Are you trying to lift that with your mind?” Aiden said over my shoulder, causing me to jump in my seat.

“Leave her alone, Kelly,” Rori said from the couch.

“If you must know, I am manifesting that it rings so they can tell me what’s wrong with it,” I said. A second later, a subtle buzz sounded from the counter. “See! It worked.” I stuck my tongue out at my little brother and then scrambled to answer the call.

“Hello, this is Ryleigh,” I said in an attempt to sound calm.

“Hi, Ms. Kelly, this is Mike from K and H Auto Parts. I wanted to let you know that we looked at your van and I have some not so great news.” My stomach dropped as I started biting my fingernails. “Your starter was bad, which is a fairly easy fix, but we looked around under the hood, and unfortunately your transmission is completely blown.”

“How long will it take to fix?” I stood and started pacing.

“We’re looking at about two weeks. We need to order some parts since this van model is no longer in mass production. We’ll get it done as soon as we can.”

My breaths were picking up but I tried not to let my pure anxiety show in my voice. They didn’t deserve my frustrations because I decided to buy an old van. “Okay. Let me know when to pick it up.”

I hung up the phone and let out a groan.

“Well, well, well, look who is finally doing an extended stay in the Malibu house. Guess it’s your time, Ry.” Aiden winked at me.

“Two weeks is hardly an extended stay.” I rolled my eyes, but Aiden just laughed and plopped on the couch next to Rori.