Page 34 of When The Noise Stops

I jumped up off the couch and unlocked the door. She pushed past me like she owned the place.

"Lila, what the hell?" She dropped her heels on the floor.

"You call me at ten in the morning, leave a long-ass voicemail about a letter from that violent motherfucker, and you getting naked in front of some fucking bikers, and then go radio silent? I ain't heard nan word from you since. I took a flight. I had to cancel a deposition."

"I didn't ask you to come."

"Miss ma'am, why wouldn't I come?"

I closed the door. Leaned against it.

"Ronny—"

"Fuck what you say. Let's read this letter together," she was already looking around the apartment.

"Where is it?"

"I burned it, but I remember what it said."

She crossed her arms.

"Then tell me. Word for word."

I took a breath. Closed my eyes. The words were burned into my brain because I read it at least a hundred times before I did burn it.

Lila,

I've had a lot of time to think in here. Too much time. And I want you to know I'm sorry for what happened. I know I made mistakes. I know I hurt you. But you have to understand. You weren't easy to live with either. You pushed me. You made me angry. The pressure was getting to me. I never meant to shoot you. It was an accident. You know I loved you. I still love you. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I want to see you. I want to make things right.

Love, Archie.

I opened my eyes.

Ronny was staring at me. Her jaw was tight. Her hands were balled into fists at her sides.

"That lying piece of shit," she said.

"Accident? Accident? He pointed a gun at you and pulled the trigger. Twice. That's not an accident. That's attempted murder."

"I know." That's all I said, because she was a hothead. If I encouraged her in this state, we might end up in Tallahassee throwing literal and figurative bricks at the prison he was in.

"He say you pushed me. You made me angry. Lila, do you hear how that sounds? He's literally blaming you. In a letter where he's supposed to be apologizing."

"I know, Ronny."

She started pacing.

"You should have let me get some niggas from Cherry Hill to fly down before he shot you. I told you. I told you, Lila. I had people. I had resources. You didn't have to go through all that alone."

"I didn't want anyone to get hurt."

"He would have been the one hurt. I know I shouldn't have left you here."

"You were in a worse situation than I was. I don't blame you." Ronny had been surviving her own shit back then. Her daddy was abusive, her mama didn't give a damn, and the first chance Ronny got, she ran. Took a scholarship and turned herself into a lawyer. She'd been practicing four years now.

"The nigga I ran away with turned out not to be worth a damn either. We should've run away together, been bumping pussies, and we'd be happy."

I stared at her.