Page 376 of The Doctors Will See You Now

She shook her head nearly immediately, her long blond hair swinging at the ends and tickling at the skin just above each breast. “No way. I’m sure I messed up worse.”

“Definitely not,” I challenged. I’d left Winnie alone to raise our daughter despite knowing how much it’d affect her. I’d known. I’d watched her cry and listened as she’d told me what she needed, and still, I hadn’t given it to her.

I couldn’t find a way not to hate myself for that.

But at the same time, I’d thought I was doing what was best. I was making something of myself, giving them financial support. I’d never have been able to even imagine what would have happened if I’d stayed here and given up the job opportunity in California.

The problem was with how late I was to realize that money wasn’t everything—seven very important years.

Determination lined the entirety of Charlotte’s body as she closed her eyes briefly, blew out a breath, and opened them again. “I left my fiancé the night before our wedding.”

Her one imperfect tooth carved a worried pit into the flesh of her lip as she waited for me to respond. She expected rejection, but I felt no condemnation. Instead, I felt shame in the fact that I really was, as I suspected all along, the biggest asshole.

My stomach churned as I considered what to say. Whether I should tell her what I’d done—perhaps driving her away for good—or if letting her flounder out there all alone was something I could live with.

Nervousness hummed through the surface of my skin as the words crawled up my throat and prepared for admission.

But when they hit the tip of my tongue, the rolling note of the first letter already a signal in my brain, fear and “rational” cowardice changed my mind. I didn’t really know this woman.

Was I inexplicably drawn to her? Yes. I was.

But she was a headhunter and I was a doctor, and that was about all that I knew for sure. I couldn’t share something so vulnerable about my past—about my daughter’s past—without knowing her better.

“I…well, that’s not so bad,” I comforted lamely.

She took it well, thank God. Laughing loud and wild like a hyena before shoving my shoulder playfully. “Oh yeah. It makes me a real peach.”

“I’m assuming you were young. People make mistakes when they’re young.”

She pushed the glass forward before taking the stem between her fingers and twisting it back and forth thoughtfully. The following shake of her head was self-deprecating. “Yeah. And leaving wasn’t wrong. We weren’t right for each other. But the way I did it was.” She shrugged helplessly. “Enough about my failures, though. The only ones that matter now are your absolutely terrible attempt at trivia and refusal to take a perfectly good job.”

“I told you, I have a daughter here.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right, right. So noble.”

I nearly fucking scoffed. Fuck, if she only knew. You could have told her, my subconscious poked. But I hadn’t. I guess I’m still a real asshole.

“Come on,” I said. “Let me get you a cab.”

Her eyes narrowed, and the tip of her tongue peeked out just enough to wet the seam of her lips. “Okay. But at least give me your direct number. Trivia partners don’t have to go through the main line at the hospital, right?”

I smiled and pulled my phone from my pocket. As she spotted it, she dug hers out from her briefcase.

We exchanged quickly and typed our numbers in each other’s phones as the bartender started turning out lights behind us. Literally. It was like an approaching total solar eclipse as the darkness made a run toward us.

Charlotte scoffed. “Totally needs to get slapped by a dick.”

I couldn’t say I disagreed.

But then again, so did I.

The metal subway car I was aboard screeched to a stop at Union Station. Several riders climbed to their feet, including me, and shuffled out of the doors like a herd of sheep until the light of day peeked down the stairs to the outside world. I pushed past the unhurried walkers, the pedestrian version of slow assholes daydreaming through their drive in the left-hand lane, and climbed up from the abyss. Droplets of rain painted the material of my khaki trench coat as soon as I left the tunnel’s cover.

Rainy. Cloudy. Surly, thick air that clung to your lungs as you tried to breathe.

Mother Nature might have been depressed, but the otherworld that was NYC bloomed and flourished anyway.

Prepared for perhaps the first time in my life, I pulled the polka dot umbrella from my purse and popped it open toward the sky a moment later.