Page 59 of The Doctors Will See You Now

Ironically enough, my ex-boyfriend randomly showing up at my place of employment had actually done us a little favor. If I hadn’t been forced to confront Will directly, if I hadn’t seen the look on his face as I blew off our night together as if it was no big deal, I don’t think I ever would have gotten around to facing my feelings.

I wasn’t making wedding plans or anything, but I didn’t have any doubts Will liked me. In fact, he told me he did.

I guess you could say he was my boyfriend. Which shouldn’t come as a surprise, I mean, he’d made me a tongue-depressor bouquet and told me it wasn’t hard to remember when I said something, for shit’s sake. I wasn’t one hundred percent emotionally available, but I wasn’t an idiot either. When the object of most women’s fantasies spends his time making you a bouquet of affirmations, you fucking date him. Period. Consequences pending until later.

“We can just ignore the policy. I won’t mind,” Elise added suggestively. I rolled my eyes before turning back toward the exam table to get her vitals.

Much to my dismay, Elise had already made herself comfortable—actually, a little too comfortable. Without removing her clothes or putting on a patient gown, she’d hopped up onto the table and placed her feet—still clad in stilettos—into the stirrups. Her panty-less crotch was on display for anyone and everyone to see. If I weren’t certain I was at my job, in a physician’s medical office, I would’ve thought someone had teleported me on to the set of Cocktor Pound, a B-rated porno. Any second the male lead, John E. Deep’s boner would have been popping in for its onscreen debut.

Holy moly, what is going on here?

“Knock, knock,” Will said as he opened the door. “All se—” he started to say, but once his eyes made contact with Elise’s crotch, he quickly averted his eyes. “Uh…I’ll give you another minute or two,” he muttered and glanced at me with wide eyes. “Melody, I’ll be in my office. Just come get me once the patient’s ready.”

“Oh, but I am ready, Dr. Cummings,” Elise purred, but Will continued his path, straight toward the hallway with the door firmly shut behind him.

The patient sighed in frustration, but I found myself smirking. It wasn’t every day you got enjoyment out of watching your boyfriend get flashed with a crotch shot from another woman. But with the way he’d reacted, I couldn’t help but smile.

Luckily, Elise seemed to get the picture too—if only temporarily—and took her heels out of the stirrups and sat up straight on the table, legs crossed and hiding what I’d decided to nickname The Beave.

“I’m just going to check your vitals and ask you a few questions, and then we’ll be ready for your exam.”

“Whatever,” she muttered, put out with me. She was put out with me.

Wow. You’re kind of a bitch, I thought to myself, but somehow, I managed to school my face into a neutral expression and move along with the appointment. The sooner I got her assessed and examined, the sooner her stiletto and miniskirt wearing ass would be out the door.

But seriously, who dressed like that for a doctor’s appointment?

Especially one where you were going to get a pap smear.

The last time I’d had a pap, I’d worn yoga pants, a sweat shirt, and Converse. The idea of a physician sticking his hand and a speculum up my hoo-hah had never been a situation that made me feel like getting dressed up like a hooker on a Friday night.

Either pap smears made Elise horny, or Dr. Will Cummings—my Will—made her horny.

I had a feeling it was the latter, but self-preservation and jealousy I didn’t expect made me cut that thought off at the knees.

“When was your last period?” I asked and pulled up her medical file on the computer in the room.

“Two fucking weeks ago,” she responded in a frustrated tone.

Yeah, I take that back. You’re actually a total bitch. Not just a little bit, but full-on bitch.

“And how long did it last?” I questioned in my sweetest voice.

“I dunno,” she said with a sigh. “Like…five days or something.”

“Do your periods generally come every twenty-eight to thirty days?”

Do you know that you’re a total bitch?

“Yes.”

“Are you sexually active?”

Are you pretty much the worst person ever?

“Obviously,” she answered with another eye roll. HA! Walked right into that one, didn’t you?

“When was your last pap smear?”