Page 33 of Hate You Most

Viktoriya clicked through an album. Then another.

If any of this was traced back to her, if anyone was smart enough to put the pieces together, she couldn't return home to her country—and she would most definitely be cut from the team, maybe even disowned from her family. Maybe worse.

She didn’t like how it felt.

After a long moment, she hovered over the Follow button, clicked it and refreshed the page. She was on a private account and those pictures could've been about anybody from their team.

She was fine… probably.

Viktoriya exhaled, shutting the laptop halfway like she’d been caught doing something she shouldn't. She looked around her empty apartment, her heartbeat faster than it should have been, heat creeping up her neck.

“This is stupid,” she muttered to the empty room.

With a sigh she opened the laptop again. It didn't hurt to look a little more.

That's what she told herself, anyway.

Instead of clicking back onto Dakota's profile and looking through it once more, she opened a new tap. The search bar blinked at her.

She typed “Am I gay?” into the search bar and clicked on the fourth link she found.

The site loaded and she almost laughed at herself, a short and sharp sound that never reached her eyes. This was ridiculous. Completely ridiculous. She was nineteen, not twelve. She was training for the Olympics, for God’s sake. She already knew what the answer would be, so what was even the point of doing this?

Even the first question was ridiculous.

Do you find yourself thinking about someone of the same sex?

Completely ridiculous. “Everyone thinks,” she muttered under her breath as she clicked sometimes.

Do you feel nervous or excited around someone of the same sex?

Her jaw tightened. Viktoriya clicked yes just a little too quickly. She moved onto the next question.

Have you ever had feelings for a friend of the same sex?

This was too easy. She didn't have any close friends, and Dakota didn't count—they weren't friends, not even close. Sure they were training together four times a week and she was actually having fun while being around her, but when push came to shove—It was her or Dakota getting that Olympic gold medal. That was the end goal to all of this, so she pressed no and moved to the next question.

Have you ever kissed someone or wanted to kiss someone of the same sex?

Okay. She had kissed Dakota, and she had thought about kissing Dakota—more than once. She pressed yes.

Has anyone asked you if you were gay?

No. Those types of rumors didn't follow her too closely, and only a small handful of reporters had written about her, compared to Dakota.

Can you imagine yourself being in a relationship with someone of the same sex?

Viktoriya pressed no and moved to the next question.

The light from the laptop burned her eyes in the darkness of her living room. There wasn't a soul around to witness what she was doing, and yet her body felt like she'd just finished a competition. Her heart was hammering, and her hands were sweaty.

Have you ever felt attracted to someone of the same sex?

Yes. She moved onto the next question, and the next. She reached the end of the quiz with her chest tight and shoulders drawn up near her ears.

She hovered the cursor over the large button. See your results.

She clicked it and the screen loaded once more. She blinked, stared at the results in front of her.