Page 36 of Hate You Most

She could tell that Dakota tried her best to keep her voice hushed, but a whispered argument was always worse than a loud one.

“I won gold,” Viktoriya said, the words bitter in her mouth. “Do you know what that means for me?”

They were inches apart. Viktoriya could feel Dakota's too warm breath against her skin.

Dakota crossed her arms. “Yeah. It means you won.”

She looked into Viktoriya's eyes with a firm look. "Congratulations Volkova,” She spread her arms wide in the hallway, failing to keep her voice down. “You're hereby officially the best skater in the world. Enjoy your shiny Olympic gold medal and forget all about how I helped you get there!”

“It means I’m stuck,” Viktoriya shot back, her voice barely above a whisper. “It means Russia owns me now. It means interviews and appearances and expectations and never leaving.”

Dakota laughed once, humorless. “So that's why you ignored me?”

Viktoriya flinched. “I didn’t ignore you.”

“You ignored me,” Dakota said. “You haven't said a word to me since we got here. I watched you skate today knowing full well I might never get a chance to talk to you again—and you couldn’t send a single text?”

Viktoriya’s voice cracked despite herself. “My parents are here.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

Another sound came from down the hall. A distant door closing. Viktoriya looked over the side of her shoulder but found nobody at the end of the hallway. Wherever the noise was coming from, it was further away than she could see.

“I know,” she said after a moment.

“I'm so incredibly stupid sometimes,” Dakota finally said. “Some small part of me actually thought that what we had meant something. Even if it was complicated and even if it was a giant mess.”

“It did,” Viktoriya said immediately. “It does.”

“Please. All you Russians ever care about is winning. You needed help with your axel and you used me.” Dakota looked away, apparently the eggshell colored wall was more interesting to look at than her.

Viktoriya shook her head, frustration spilling over. “Do you really think I would be standing here in this hallway at two in the morning, if all I wanted from you was a triple axel?”

Dakota's jaw clenched. “I don't know! It certainly would be convenient if that was the truth, wouldn't it?”

Viktoriya was completely silent. Whatever this goodbye was in her head, it had gone completely sideways in a matter of minutes.

“What do you want from me? Want me to apologize? Fine, I'll apologize.” Viktoriya moved an inch closer. “I'm sorry I ignored you and I'm sorry that I ignored your texts.”

“I don't want you to apologize, Volkova.”

“What, then?”

“I want you,” Dakota said quietly, looking around the dead and empty hallway. “I want you to admit you feel something for me, and that I'm not the only one feeling completely insane at the moment.”

“I can't say that.”

“Because it's not true,” Dakota added too quickly. “Because you're a lying, manipulating piece of shit that's used me since the very beginning to get whatever you wanted!”

Viktoriya took a deep breath and tried ignoring the way Dakota was lashing out. “I can't admit I feel something for you, because of…” The words stuck themselves to her tongue. She tried again. “I can't, because of…”

“Because of what?”

The words were right there, on the tip of her tongue. Because of Russia. Because of the newly passed laws that made it impossible for Volkova to continue whatever it was she was doing with Dakota. She knew it was wrong and it was something to keep quiet about, but now it was punishable by law. She wasn't taking any risks. She was going back to her old ways as soon as this conversation was over, conforming to what her father expected of her.

“It doesn't matter why, okay!” Viktoriya knew it was stupid to raise her voice in the hallway, in the middle of the night—but she just couldn't help herself. Dakota made her lose her grip, in every way imaginable.

“Why can't you just say it?” Dakota was almost pleading in front of her. “Why can't you just admit that you feel something for me, so I won't feel so insane. I'm losing my damn mind over here!”