Page 56 of Hate You Most

“And this is Elena, Hannah, and Kaylee,” Dakota continued, gesturing to the different girls as she went. Dakota introduced them as some of the girls from the American figure skating team, the same team she'd trained with before winning gold. The only person on her mind back then had been Dakota, and everyone else had been background noise. She didn't even remember their names.. They all smiled at Viktoriya like they already knew her.

Hannah stood, a little stiff. “Hi.”

Elena stepped forward first. “It's really good to see you.”

“Thank you,” Viktoriya said carefully, like she was seeing a distant relative.

There were brief hugs from the girls. Everyone was clearly unsure about what they should do with themselves and how they should act around her. Viktoriya let them all hug her, her body responding on autopilot. They all smelled like perfume and a familiarity she couldn't place.

They settled into the living room, and they talked about the only safe thing: skating. It turned out the girls she couldn’t remember a thing about, still skated at the rink near their home. They told her stories of how they'd all go out after training and competitions—clubs, bars, late nights that had nothing to do with skating. Now their lives had gone in different directions. One worked in marketing, Dakota coached, another had become a physical therapist but they all still skated whenever they had the time.

Viktoriya listened and pretended she remembered this part of her life that felt completely foreign. She couldn’t picture herself in a friend group where everything didn’t somehow revolve around skating.

Viktoriya's eyes drifted to Dakota more than once while the girls spoke. She was different like this, when other people were around. She laughed more, in a way Viktoriya had never seen. At one point she reached out and bumped Hannah's knee with hers, teasing her about a bad fall on the ice from a few years ago.

Viktoriya watched, her heart beating unsteadily. Dakota had done that before—with her. She'd teased her about a bad fall like it wasn't all-encompassing. Like it didn’t matter anymore because she was still there, still breathing, still getting back up. Viktoriya could almost hear it now—Dakota’s voice cutting through the panic in her head before it had the chance to consume her completely.

The realization hit harder than it should have. That was the first thing she remembered. She couldn't help but smile at that.

“What are you smiling about?” Elena asked, nudging her gently with her shoulder.

Viktoriya hesitated. “I remembered something.”

Brooke’s eyes widened. “Wait—really?”

“Yeah,” Viktoriya said, almost shy about it.

Elena leaned forward, elbows on her knees. “That's huge, Volkova. What was it?”’

“It was nothing—just talking about that fall—it reminded me of something.” Viktoriya hoped the girls wouldn't ask into it further. These were her memories, and those she did remember she was going to hold close.

“That's how it starts,” Brooke said softly. “It's the little things. They come back when you're not forcing them.”

Viktoriya nodded. “Didn't even try, it just happened.”

Hannah raised her cup from the other side of the couch in a small toast. “To the memories coming back.”

“I'll definitely drink to that,” Brook said and raised her glass with champagne.

Brooke ended up sitting alone beside her on the couch, legs tucked under herself. Even relaxed, there was something effortlessly composed about her. Brooke carried herself like someone completely certain of who she was.

Viktoriya found herself drawn to it almost immediately. Which was strange, because she didn’t remember her at all. She had no memory of meeting her, no memory of their conversations or any shared moments, and yet sitting beside her felt oddly natural.

“You hanging in there?” she asked quietly.

Viktoriya nodded. “As much as I can.”

Brooke tilted her head, studying her face. “You look good,” she said. Then added, “Different, but still good.”

Viktoriya smiled faintly. “I don't feel different. I feel empty inside and confused.”

Brooke exhaled a soft laugh. “Yeah. That sounds like you.”

Viktoriya blinked. “It does?”

“Yeah.”

Viktoriya took a breath. Everyone else was upstairs or in the kitchen, and Brooke seemed like someone she could trust.