Page 42 of Uncharted

“Don’t make fun of me right now,” he grumbled, but he didn’t pull away.

“I’m not,” I told him truthfully. “You’re so much like your brother, but different. He’s got more of the attitude and the temper, and you can be so happy and sweet most of the time. He doesn’t want people to worry about him because he doesn’t want to be seen as weak, and you don’t want people to worry about you because you’re too busy worryin’ about everyone else. But you can worry here, you can be upset here, you can be mad and throw things if ya want. In here, it’s just us.”

He nodded, another tear escaping and running down his cheek. “Just…stop being so hard on yourself for shit, Jake. You were so worried about screwing up and not being able to help anyone, you didn’t for a minute consider saving yourself when we were both in danger.”

“I wasn’t even the one that saved ya,” I said, unable to help the bitterness in my voice, or the regret. “So ya can’t really give me credit.”

He pulled away from my touch but didn’t wipe away his next tear as he glared furiously at me. “There’s no fucking way I would have survived if you hadn’t done what you did, you hear me? What you did…allowed Aidan to finish the job. If I had gone into the water like you did? You’d have woken up to the news that I was dead. So you shut the hell up right now. I don’t want to hear you acting like you didn’t do a damn thing when what you did helped save my life and almost ended yours, got it?”

“Yes, sir,” I said, meaning it in all seriousness but unable to help my smile.

“Quit,” he said in a low voice.

“Sorry,” I said, and winced when he raised his hand as if to hit me. “Alright, I won’t say I’m sorry anymore.”

“I also don’t want to hear you apologizing because of who you are,” he said, slowly lowering a hand that I was sure would never have struck me, especially in my current condition. “I know you saved me instead of yourself because that’s who you are. Just like you’re the same guy that went out there with me because you trusted my instincts. Just like I know you would have never been able to forgive yourself if you hadn’t saved me, and you’d do it again in a heartbeat even if you knew I’d spend the rest of my life being furious with you for getting yourself killed just for the chance to save me.”

It was probably a dangerous thing to say, but we weren’t ones to lie to each other. “All true.”

“I know,” he said softly, the anger bleeding from his face. “It’s who you are, and not only will you not change…I wouldn’t want you to.”

“Ya don’t, uh…sound too happy about it,” I said with a wince.

At that, he chuckled. “No, Jake, I’m not thrilled that you’re someone who’s going to risk their life for my sake, or that you’re only sorry you’ve upset me rather than the fact that you were in serious danger too. But that’s who you are, and if I tried to change you, you’d stop being you. We…have what we have because of who you are.”

We have what we have; wasn’t that a whole lot of words that felt like they were being used to ignore the elephant in the corner of the room. “Because of who you are, too.”

“We are who we are,” he said with a heavy sigh, taking my hand in his.

Someone who can look at you, who…sees you, and doesn’t want you to be anythin’ more than ya are.

The words bounced around my head for a minute, and I wondered…well, I guess there was no point thinking too hard on that. There were other things for us to worry about; I didn’t need to think too far ahead of myself. Reno clearly had no problem being close to me, expressing his feelings openly, but that wasn’t the same thing as being with someone. Hell, he could hardly mention the things we’d done, and I still wasn’t sure how he could be like that but then have turned around and thrown himself into the second bit of, as he had put it, shenanigans without much trouble.

It didn’t make sense, but how brains worked wasn’t really my thing; that was my brother’s territory. But I wasn’t going to consult my brother about the weird state of my relationship with Reno. Dedicated psychologist or not, he was still…well, Darren.

“How’re the others?” I asked because I wanted to know, but also because it felt like the best time to shift the subject.

“Well,” he said slowly. “Carter said the next time you’re having a post-coma breakdown, someone else can hold you back. Mav told him he was being dramatic because you hit like a bitch.”

“Gotta love ’em,” I snorted.

“Colin is…Colin. I’ll be interested to see how he acts with the three of us in the Injured Club. And yes, I already made sure him and Xander knew there was no way in hell you were going to go on medical leave and you would be coming back to the outpost, even if it was under the understanding that you would take it easy,” Reno told me and I smiled at him. That lasted until he narrowed his eyes. “And you will take it easy. I’ll kick your ass if you don’t, then I’ll make sure Colin advises that you should be forced on medical leave, and call your parents to come get you.”

“Overkill, much?” I asked, horrified by the entire idea.

“Then I guess if you don’t want me to set off that particular nuke, do as you’re told,” he warned. It was a good reminder that for his sweet heart, easy laugh, and happy-go-lucky nature, he had grown up pretty rough. He rarely put himself in a position where he had to fight or argue with someone, but when he did? Oof, it was best to behave if you didn’t want to find out just what teeth and claws his troubled upbringing had given him that he usually kept tucked away.

“Got it,” I said, clearing my throat. “The rest?”

“Cait is going to give all of us an earful for scaring her half to death,” he said with a sigh. “She was the one holding down the fort while we were all here, so she was getting information at the same rate we were but at a distance, which has to suck.”

“Xander?”

“He’s, uh…pissed.”

I blinked. “What? Hey now, I’m okay with you bein’ pissed at me, but what the hell did I do to him?”

“Not you,” he said evenly, like he was trying not to get pissed off again.