Page 59 of The Voicemail

I get up and head for Alex’s office, psyching myself up for a fight. It’s not productive or healthy, but I know a good screaming match will take my mind off things. I push the door open without knocking. He’s sitting there, staring at his computer screen.

“I changed my mind,” I say.

He raises one eyebrow at me. “About what, exactly?”

“I’ve decided I’m done cooperating. I want to know why you need my phone.”

He clenches his teeth. “I told you⁠—”

“You told me a half truth,” I accuse. “Because if Tomaso didn’t hack my phone, then he somehow knew where Maya lives. And he also somehow knew we’d be there at that exact time.”

He closes his eyes tightly and I know I’ve got him. I wonder if he can lie to me now.

“Please don’t do this, Elena,” he says wearily. “You’re asking questions I just don’t have the answers to right now.”

“And if you did, would you tell me?” I ask, but don’t give him the chance to answer. “No, you wouldn’t. You’d keep lying to me or tell me a version of the truth you think I’d find palatable.”

“So what?” he asks, his mask finally slipping.

Good, now we’re getting somewhere.

“So what if I do keep the truth from you? You’re under enough stress as it is, Elena. You look paler by the day. Excuse me for giving a fuck about your well-being.”

“If you cared about my well-being, you’d stop lying to me!” I yell. “You’d be completely honest about everything.”

“Where is this coming from?” he asks, an edge of desperation in his voice. “You were fine five minutes ago. Why, all of a sudden, do you have to do this?”

“It isn’t all of a sudden, though, is it? This is weeks of half-truths and smokescreens. Maybe the dam has finally broken.”

He stands up and calmly walks over to me. “Or maybe you’re trying to get a rise out of me because fighting with me is the only way you know how to deal with your fear.”

Well, fuck me. Am I really that transparent?

“If you’re scared, then just tell me you’re scared,” he says gently, hesitantly placing his hands on my shoulders. “If you want to have a conversation, then let’s have a conversation. You don’t have to keep putting up these walls.”

I shake my head and take a step back.

“But I do,” I say in a small voice. “Because I don’t really know who you are, Alex. I don’t know if I can trust you. I don’t know if you’re ever going to be honest with me.”

He takes a deep breath and nods sadly. Regret is written all over his face. It almost makes me feel guilty.

“I’ve made a lot of mistakes with you, and I know that,” he says. “I haven’t always been honest. I broke your trust. You think I’m a controlling asshole and, frankly, you might be right about that. But I swear to God, Elena, I just want what’s best for you.”

He’s a heartbeat away from me. I can feel his breath on my face, and I want to give in to him. It would be so easy to just fall into his arms and let him keep saying these perfect, honest words to me.

“We’re a farce,” I say. “We never would have met if I wasn’t in danger. Whatever connection is between us wouldn’t work in the real world.”

He watches me curiously. “That’s a sharp left turn.”

I shake my head. “It’s not, though. You keep saying how much you care for me and how much you want the best for me, but you have no reason to, Alex. At the end of the day, I’m no one to you. I’m just a girl who dialed a wrong number.”

He takes a step back and looks me up and down, recoiling like I’ve stung him. Then his face softens, and he brushes a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Is that what you really think?” he whispers. “Even after last night? You think you shouldn’t mean anything to me because of how we met? You’ve come to mean everything to me, Elena.”

“Prove it,” I challenge, because I just can’t let myself be bested that easily.

He nods and takes my hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss it gently. “I don’t want to fuck you against my desk,” he says.