Page 116 of The Wedding Forecast

But Hayley is sitting up. She’s got more to say. She’s opened the floodgates.

‘Because sometimes I worry that you’re in some kind of holding pattern, waiting for him to ask you to be together, to come to New York.’

‘No, I’m not,’ I say, with a feeling like ice running through my veins at how accurately she is seeing me.

Am I waiting for that? No. Well, yes it would be nice to have him ask, but I’m not waiting for it. She doesn’t know, she doesn’t get it, what Mac and I have.

I almost laugh when that thought crosses my mind. What Mac and I have? We have nothing. We have lots of conversations. We have a few nights together. What does that add up to? Hayley’s right, and it makes me want to push her off my bed, push her right out of my life.

‘You obviously have feelings for him,’ she says, and her tone makes it clear she thinks this is an embarrassing and terrible thing.

‘No, I don’t.’

‘So you have sex, and then talk every day since, and there are no romantic feelings there? Come on.’ She folds her legs under herself, sitting up straight. I’m still lying back on the pillows and it makes me feel like she has the edge in the conversation.

‘It’s not like that,’ I say.

‘Are you lying to just me, or to yourself as well?’

‘Fine. There are feelings, but I have them under control.’

I sound like an addict. I’m dabbling, but it’s under control.

‘Why do you even care?’ I add. ‘I thought you didn’t like the fact that I was working with your mum, and now you’re mad at me for not being sure about taking a more permanent position?’

‘I never said I didn’t like you working together.’

‘It was implied.’

‘Well, it means a lot to Mum, she loves working with you, so it means a lot to me, and I want you both to be happy.’

‘Sure.’ I fold my arms. She is not about to convince me this is all coming from a place of love. ‘If you are so worried, why don’t you work there?’

‘I don’t want to work there.’

‘But I have to.’

‘You want to.’

‘I don’t want you to pressure me into it. I want to choose it for myself.’

‘Don’t work there then! That’s fine! I just don’t want you to waste years pining for a man on the other side of the world, giving up opportunities, giving up other nice and cute men, and then wake up one day and realise you’ve sacrificed everything for nothing.’

‘Wow. Okay. Thanks for the advice.’

‘I’m not trying to be a bitch.’

‘No, you don’t need to try, it’s coming to you very naturally.’

Hayley makes a face. We’re both in attack mode now. We rarely fight, but when do, it can get mean in the way I think real sisters fight. We each know all of the other’s weak spots.

‘I just…’ She pauses.

‘Say it. You’ve said everything else.’

‘I just think Mac is eventually going to meet someone over there.’

‘Good! Great! I hope he does.’