Page 44 of The Wedding Forecast

‘We all went to bed, and we smelt gas,’ Mum says.

‘Don’t make the obvious joke, no one has the capacity for it right now. Tensions have been running high,’ Jean says to me.

‘What happened?’ I ask.

‘Exactly what we said: we smelt gas in the kitchen. We couldn’t find a source, so we grabbed our stuff and got out.’

‘I think I could have fixed it, but they wouldn’t let me pull the oven out from the wall,’ Dad says.

‘Did you call the fire brigade?’ I ask.

‘We called the Airbnb owner and they are coming out to deal with it,’ Bobbi says.

‘Meanwhile, darling, we’re staying here tonight,’ Mum says.

‘Oh.’

At this moment, Joel opens his bedroom door, carrying his toothbrush. He looks startled and then slightly terrified at the sight of everyone. In their dressing gowns, Mum, Bobbi and Jean look like a coven of witches, and all three look at him with furrowed brows.

‘Hello,’ he says.

‘Their house has a gas leak,’ I say. ‘Don’t make the obvious joke.’

‘What’s the obvious joke?’ he says.

‘Never mind.’

‘Well I’m sorry to hear that,’ he says.

‘They’re going to stay here tonight.’

‘Sounds good,’ he says, backing into his room. ‘Goodnight everyone!’ He shuts his bedroom door quickly. Coward.

‘The gentlemanly thing to do would be to offer his bed to three old ladies in need,’ Mum says.

‘You’re old ladies now?’ I say. ‘Last week, you were freaking out when someone asked you for a seniors card.’

‘Context matters, darling. At midnight, we’re old. And he’s young.’

‘He can’t give you his bed.’

‘Why not?’

‘Bianca is unwell.’

Bobbi gasps.

‘No. Well we can’t stay here then, we’ll all get sick.’

‘It’s not contagious,’ I say.

‘Did she drink too much?’ Mum asks, looking interested.

‘No.’

‘Oh, some kind of existing condition?’ Jean says, her doctor hat on.

‘Yes, something like that.’