Page 95 of The Wedding Forecast

‘Me too.’ My hair is still damp, my face is make-up free and I’m wearing my oldest pyjamas.

‘Besides, your eyes need to be on the screen, watching the movie,’ he says.

‘Your face would be too much of a distraction, that’s true.’ It’s actually his voice that is most distracting.

‘I would never risk you comparing me with a young Tom Cruise.’

‘Very dangerous indeed.’

‘You sound tired.’

‘Well, I just started a new job.’

‘You what? Wait, wait, wait. Pause the movie.’

And so we stop the movie and I update him on my new life as a bookseller.

‘I sent the email quitting my job the night we saw the show.’

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘I was freaking out. I didn’t tell anyone.’

‘You made the right decision,’ he says.

‘You think so?’

‘Anything is worth being free of Marco Polo.’

‘But I’ve taken a pay cut. How will I ever own a house, or make enough money to live? It’s not responsible.’

I sound like my mother. And yet. She’s right, in a lot of ways. I’ve looked at my new part-time wage, and my budget, and things aren’t pretty.

‘You work two jobs, bookseller and writer. You’re doing enough.’

‘I guess.’

‘You don’t have to go through life always trying to make the absolute most amount of money possible. What you want to do with your time matters too.’

‘I know. I know! And it’s not like I was working in finance before or anything. I was never making a lot of money. I just have this panic in my chest, sometimes, that I’m slipping further and further behind and I’ll never catch up—to who, I don’t even know.’ Maybe it’s Joel I am still comparing myself to. He’s ahead of me in every way in life. Or Hayley and Luke, with their lovely house and expensive L-shaped couch. Why is everyone else an adult, and I am a floundering child? I never used to feel like this when I was twenty-five and working in government with a long-term partner. I used to feel too old for my age back then. That feels like a joke now.

‘When we were in New York, every time we went into a bookshop, you always looked so happy. That means something,’ Mac says.

‘It means I like buying books.’

‘You like being around books.’

‘That’s true.’ I take a deep breath. ‘Let’s put the movie back on.’

‘Okay, you have to pay attention to this part to understand the movie.’

‘Oh, you’re one of those movie guys. A shusher.’

‘I simply ask that you give a moment of your time to Renée and Tom.’

‘Fine, fine. Just don’t say, “There’s a good bit coming up” or anything.’

‘There is actually a good bit coming up.’