Page 28 of People Skills

Let him think I do this all the time. Let him be intimidated.

‘So, tell me. What’s the plan? To fix me.’ He’s wearing a long-sleeved T-shirt and loose black knee-length shorts, and his messy hair is lifting slightly in the breeze. He rubs his hands together and breathes on them, still not quite warm enough.

‘Fix is the wrong word,’ I say. ‘Too negative.’

‘I’m not broken?’ he says.

‘You’re not. You’re stuck. Blocked. And I’m going to unblock you.’

‘Like I’m a pipe and you’re a plumber?’ he says.

‘Yes,’ I say. ‘Or like you’re mentally constipated and I’m your creative laxative.’

‘Jesus,’ he says, looking horrified, and I can’t help laughing at the expression on his face.

‘You start the day with this,’ I say. ‘A sunrise walk every morning. The sun is up at six-thirty, so you need to be out the door at six.’

‘Every morning?’

‘At least three times a week.’

‘Okay,’ he says. ‘What is the science behind that?’

The science? For god’s sake. As if I have peer-reviewed research papers to back up my every decision.

‘The science is: look at that.’ I point at the sky, awash with colour. ‘And that,’ I add, pointing to the sea. ‘The power of nature. Let yourself absorb it.’

‘Okay.’ He pauses, looks at me. ‘I’m absorbing, I’m absorbing.’

‘Good.’

‘What else?’ he asks.

‘Digital detox. No screens after 6 pm. And no swiping through short-form videos ever. Delete any addictive apps.’

There’s another pause as he considers this.

‘Okay.’

‘And you need to get into the ocean every day. Salt water reactivates certain parts of the brain.’

He laughs.

‘You are just making shit up.’

‘It’s true!’ I say, but I am, indeed, making shit up.

‘Okay.’

He’s agreeing to all of this too easily. I look at him out of the corner of my eye.

‘You’re fine with all of this?’

‘I’ve got nothing to lose. So what are we going to do at night?’ he says. ‘Or are you not taking part in the digital detox?’

‘Well, I need my phone for work,’ I say.

He frowns.