Page 64 of People Skills

‘And I think that’s our cue to leave,’ Xavier says, standing up. ‘Mum, thanks for dinner. Dad, thanks for coming all this way to, well, to do whatever it is you did here tonight. Are you staying…’ He pauses and looks around, as if it’s just occurred to him that Graham has been drinking and will need to stay somewhere.

‘Your mother has offered one of her spare rooms.’

James and Xavier exchange a look. Their parents, staying under the same roof. James pales. He’s staying here too.

‘Good luck with that, James. Enjoy,’ Xavier says.

‘Fuck off,’ James mouths at him.

I walk over to Hillary, who is cleaning the kitchen.

‘I can stay and help tidy up?’ I say. ‘Be a buffer between you and Graham?’

‘Oh, he’ll be asleep in fifteen minutes. He had sherry and it always puts him to sleep. I made sure I had some on hand.’ She grips my arm. ‘I’m so happy Xavier is writing again. It makes enduring Graham worthwhile. Did you know he was working on something?’

‘I wasn’t sure how far along he was,’ I say vaguely.

‘Well, thank you, Charlotte. You are truly the best thing that has ever happened to me.’

Hillary is a little drunk, and she gets gushy when she’s drinking. ‘Look, there he goes. Asleep. Like a beached whale,’ she says, pointing to Graham, who has Aggie tucked up on his lap. She turns to James and Xavier, who have walked over to us. ‘James, I’m going to leave your father to sleep there.’

‘I think we should wake him.’

‘Why?’

‘Because he’ll complain about a bad back for weeks and make it my problem and, unlike the two of you, I actually talk to him regularly,’ James says.

Hillary shakes her head, and walks to the bathroom.

‘I talk to Dad,’ Xavier says.

‘You see Dad under duress,’ James says.

I glance at Graham’s sleeping form. Maybe he’s just pretending to sleep so he can listen to his children talk about him. That’s probably something I would do, but I sense Graham would just tell them to speak openly in front of him and then not actually listen.

‘Sorry we can’t all be a perfect son,’ Xavier says.

‘Oh please,’ James says. ‘Mum and Dad have not been in the same room for years and they come together tonight because of you, not me.’

‘Because I’m the screw-up.’

‘No, because you’re the one with all the potential. You wrote the masterpiece.’ James turns to me. ‘Charlotte, you spend more time with our mother than anyone. Who’s the favourite child?’

‘Ettie,’ I say, because it’s the safest answer.

‘On that note, shall we go home?’ Xavier says.

Hillary comes back into the room and we say our goodbyes.

Xavier is waiting for me on the porch. ‘Sorry about that,’ he says.

‘It was fine,’ I say.

‘It was hell.’

‘It could have been worse,’ I say.

‘Right, Dad could have choked on the cheesecake and Mum could have refused to call an ambulance.’