Page 70 of People Skills

‘No.’

‘Do you want me to draw you a picture?’

Xavier makes a sound, a kind of sound like he might be dying or choking or about to throw up. ‘No. You’re wrong,’ he says.

‘I wish I was.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I’m sure.’

‘Maybe she was choking. And maybe he heard the same sound you did, and he went in there to give her the Heimlich manoeuvre?’

‘He was not giving her the Heimlich manoeuvre.’

‘They were physically together?’

‘Yes.’

‘You’re sure?’

‘It is burned into my brain.’

‘Do they know that you know?’

‘No. I backed out of there and I came here.’ James stands up, like he can’t sit still with the memory.

‘What does this mean?’ Xavier says.

‘I don’t know. I don’t think I want to know.’

‘I wish you hadn’t told me.’

‘I can’t deal with this information alone.’

‘I wish you hadn’t told me,’ I say. Is he even aware that I’m in the room?

‘You’re her assistant. You must have known this was a possibility,’ James says, accusingly. ‘You should have warned us!’

‘No!’ I say. ‘She’s never said anything that would make me think she would want to…’

‘Well. She did. They did,’ James says.

‘Should we tell Ettie?’ Xavier asks.

‘No! The shock could make her go into labour early,’ James says.

‘How could this happen?’ Xavier’s face is scrunched up, as if he’s contemplating a complicated maths equation.

‘I have no idea,’ James says.

‘Were they still drunk? Was this a drunken mistake?’ Xavier says.

‘They probably were reminiscing and one thing led to another,’ I say. ‘A nostalgia thing, a one-off.’

‘What do they have to be nostalgic about?’ Xavier says. ‘Remember the big fight we had about you working too much? Remember when you cheated on me?’ He shakes his head.

‘It had better be a one-off,’ James says. ‘Can you imagine if they got back together?’