Page 73 of People Skills

‘Mine too.’

‘Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine.’

‘I’m not sure we have time for that,’ I say, as we get out of the car and walk into the supermarket.

‘Condense it.’

‘You first.’

‘I got too drunk at a work event and had to go to hospital to have my stomach pumped.’

‘Oh my god,’ I say, gaping at him as I grab a basket.

‘I know.’

‘Did you lose your job?’

‘I actually didn’t.’

‘Did they know?’

‘They did. They thought it was funny.’

‘Did you?’

‘I pretended to. I have never done shots again. I actually don’t drink at work functions at all anymore. I played it up as funny, but I was terrified when I woke up in hospital.’

‘That’s bad.’

‘I also lost my licence from too many speeding fines.’

‘Why are you telling me all your secrets?’ I say, picking up a bottle of orange juice and examining it. I’m not sure it will be fancy enough for Hillary but it’s the best option here.

‘Because I want you to tell me things.’

‘What things?’

‘Did you shave his head or did he shave it?’

‘I shaved it for him.’

‘Hmmm.’

‘What’s that noise mean?’

‘Are you sleeping with him?’

‘None of your business. And no.’

‘A woman doesn’t shave a man’s head in the middle of the night unless there’s something going on.’

‘There’s nothing going on.’

‘What do you really know about my parents sleeping together?’

‘Nothing! I swear. That shocked me.’

I grab some of the seeded bread that Hillary likes, and a tub of ricotta cheese because she’s always trying to up her protein.