Page 56 of The Stolen Crown

“You think searching for danger proves you are some fearless warrior?”

“I don’t search for it, but I do try not to turn away when it comes.” I snorted a wet laugh. “Think me a fool all you want, but I’m tired. So tired.” I pressed my fingertips against my brow and rolled them in small circles. “For the last ten turns, I’ve heard folk whisper of my mother, of my father with such reverence. I refuse to be the cause they might whisper something else. I won’t be a reason folk think House Sekundär is weak. But sometimes I cannot cease being me, and I’m tired, Hearttalker.”

“What is so wrong with you that you exhaust yourself trying to be someone else?” His tone hardened.

“When there is trouble, I assure you, I am not the one folk think of when blades must be raised. Now, if it’s a birth revel or a tricky color scheme, well, mine is the first name brought forward. Not exactly a promising heir for such a household.”

Tait shook his head. “You think too little of yourself.”

“I was determined to learn the blade the instant the war ended,” I went on, ignoring his statement.

“And you learned it well. I’ve sparred with you, if you recall.”

“You defeated me.” I picked at a snag in my skirt. “Forgive me for all that, by the way. Another moment I needed to prove myself. Another moment I failed. I keep trying to be ferocious, like Aleksi or Jonas or Bloodsinger. But even when the elven attacked Jonas’s folk, I was the one to stay back and light the signal. Not called to fight.”

“As I am told,” he said, “that signal required royal blood. You were their only hope in lighting it.”

Gods, I did not need him to be rational while my mind was clawing for every proof that I was not the fierce royal amongst my friends and family.

When an enemy elven clan snatched Skadi away, panic of losing another beloved friend nearly robbed me of the air in my lungs.

Still, there’d been shameful relief after the alvers asked me to light the warning flame, a signal of danger that spread to every earth fae kingdom. I wanted to fight for Skadi but was terrified all at once. Everyone else faced battles with straight spines, chins lifted, while I inwardly screamed in terror.

I let out a long sigh. “You know, in the glamour courts, levity is life. I grew to love it, found a passion with gowns and planning great celebrations. I know you and others see me as flighty, but I strive to never be a whimpering girl like I once was during battles. I refuse to shame my house in such a way.”

Silence lengthened, barbed and heavy between us. Heat flooded my cheeks. Curse my damn tongue. When emotions were too fierce, too full, my words ran free.

Now, I’d spoken so much hidden shame to a man who could hardly stand me, and I’d made him so discomfited he could not speak. Doubtless, Tait had grand plans of fleeing the isle and leaving me behind while I slept.

I let out a trembling laugh. What else was there to do?

“Well”—I stood and brushed a bit of sand off my chemise and worked to unravel the knot still tied between my thighs to keep the hem secure—“I’m properly horrified I let all that fall out. I’m sure we can both agree to never speak of this moment again. We, uh, we ought to head back, and I’ll find something else for this worthless wrist of mine so you can have your top back. Oh, there are still a few small fish left from last night’s meal. I think I can manage that again without causing another catastrophe.”

The burn of his eyes followed me as I hurried past him.

“I misspoke.”

The words were so soft, in truth, I wasn’t certain I’d truly heard them. “Pardon?”

Tait let out a long sigh and stepped in front of me, hands shoved into the pockets of his trousers, his bare chest not even one arm’s length away. “I misspoke. You’re not flighty, and you’re not weak.”

“See here, Hearttalker, I do not need coddling.” Again, I tried to wave him away and laugh, but Tait took a step to the side, blocking my retreat.

“I won’t coddle you. I wouldn’t want to,” he said. “After the earth fae battle, when every other little was huddled away, safe at last, one girl was facing a beast with her small blade.”

“I can’t believe you even recall that day—”

“I recall a great deal.” He took a step nearer. “Like when a princess who still despised the Ever King risked treason to free his lowly cousin from chains. Like a princess who sailed through the Chasm with her enemies, all to save her friend. No thought for her own life.”

“You would do the same for Erik—”

“I’m not finished.” Tait was close enough that one slight motion and my flesh would touch his. “When war came for the Ever, you did not hesitate and joined us to take our kingdom back. You are not weak, Vicious. And while you are looking at the shadow left behind from your house, you’re missing the one growing behind you.”

Without another word, Tait turned away and strode toward our camp. He did not touch me, did not even try, but his words burrowed beneath my skin like liquid heat.

Damn him. How I wished the fool would go back to demanding I leave him be and tack on those sharp scowls and general unpleasantness for good measure.

Without them, I feared I would fall deeper into this unwitting draw to him, one that sang to my very heart.