Page 61 of Not Another Christmas Movie

Annie let out a breath of air. She was pretty sure she had actually done it. She had almost kissed Chris. And the only person she wanted to tell was Nick.

“Mistletoe was made for two,” Chris repeated once they had placed themselves back at a comfortable distance.

“Are you reading the ornament again …” Annie began.

“I’ve loved this time we’ve spent together here,” Chris said before letting out an audible sigh. “But Annie, what happens after Christmas? You’ll be returning to your big fashion job in the big city. I doubt you’ll even have time for a small-town guy like me,” Chris finished sadly. Annie wasn’t sure what to say to him. Should she try to reassure him that of course she’d stay if only he would ask or should she finally admit to him and to herself that, no, she didn’t want any of this. Not in this made-for-TV Christmas movie, and not in real life.

Before she could properly formulate a response, Chris checked his watch and noticed the late hour. He said his quick goodbye, kissing Annie’s cheek. In the past, his lips anywhere on her body had given her all types of fiery feelings, but this one left her cold, only solidifying her readiness to close the Chris chapter of her dating history. Annie walked Chris out and peered over at Nick’s house. All the lights were dark. He must be at Bailey’s, Annie thought, nibbling her lip. She crept to the window and willed him to walk down the block. Finally, when it was clear he wasn’t returning, she gave up hope of his return and tried to fall asleep.

Her thoughts kept piling on top of each other. Letting herself imagine Nick as her partner filled her with fear. Simply being in the presence of another person who personified Christmas terrified her, because she didn’t want to have to go through losing them again.

But what if it wasn’t nervous energy her body was feeling? What if it was what she had tried to explain to Jimmy? What if it was actually excitement and something far more joyful and happy?

Maybe she didn’t need to control the fireworks of feelings she had tried so hard to keep track of and tame. Maybe she didn’t have to compartmentalize and neatly pack Nick away somewhere deep within her brain like she tried to do with every other crush she’d had throughout her life. She already knew how that story went; she had already done that with Chris and guys like him. Nick was different. He was so earnest and open, and it was all so refreshing considering almost every other interaction she had had with the male-identifying humans in her life. Maybe she was right where she needed to be, in a quaint winter wonderland, becoming the person she wanted to be and finally falling for the right person.

Hours later, Annie woke up and sat straight up in bed. It was Christmas Eve. The air was electric. She looked out the window at Nick’s house, but there was still no trace of him, and the discomfort of the unknowing refused to budge from her body. Even after getting dressed for the day and walking outside, Nick didn’t appear, and once a few minutes had passed, Annie made her way to the school alone. It was the day of the big show, after all, and she couldn’t be late.

Chris and Bailey were buzzing around the cafeteria, wrangling kids. They seemed to be in their own nervous haze too, and Annie wondered if that was just how Christmas Eve felt for everyone here, though their apparent butterflies were doing nothing to settle the ones multiplying inside her.

Grant flew around the space in a frantic frenzy, jumping every time the door opened and fixed on the entrance.

“Morning, Grant,” Annie said, Grant jolted in surprise. “Are you okay?”

“Of course,” Grant said automatically. But when Annie’s gaze pressed him, he cracked and shook his head. “He left.” Annie knew he meant Perry. “We got into a little argument last night before the festival. The kids had been asking him if he’d be here to help with the play again next year.”

Okay, rude, Annie thought, no one has asked me that. She nodded for Grant to continue.

“I said it would likely take another snowstorm or a direct order from corporate,” Grant said, his voice thin. “I didn’t want to admit that I hope the snow never melts, I don’t want him to leave. But when I went back to the inn last night, all of his things were packed up!”

“Where would he go?” Annie asked, mostly wondering if she, too, could escape.

“I don’t want to be alone for Christmas,” Grant answered, his face threatening to break into a million pieces. “I put on a show of being unstoppable, but I’m fragile too.” Annie nodded encouragingly, realizing this truth was likely something the real Grant might feel. “Perry sees me. The real me, behind the curtain. At first, it gave me stage fright. But losing him feels as devastating as making your entrance to an empty theater.”

Annie pulled Grant into a hug, her own chest needing the support from a quickening heartbeat. She understood that fear, of someone seeing you in all your true colors and the ache and bleakness of a life without them. Grant’s words (well, she could leave out the theater metaphors) could have been her own.

“Maybe being seen is the bravest thing we can do; it shows we still have a heart strong enough to keep putting ourselves out there,” Annie said.

And with that, the front door burst open with a crash, Perry at the entrance, brushing snow from his shoulders, his smile wide. Grant saw him and let out a small, grateful gasp, and Annie nudged him closer.

“I thought you had left town,” Grant said, tentatively taking steps to meet Perry.

“I would never leave before the show,” Perry reassured him. “I was getting these.” He grinned, pulling out a pair of keys and dangling them for Grant to see. “I’m taking over the dance studio and staying to run the business. This town, it’s got a hold of me. I love Simsbury and I love all its residents.”

“All its residents, huh?” Grant smiled, tilting his head.

“There is one especially who has taken permanent residence in my heart,” Perry said softly. Grant reached into his pocket with a theatrical ease, flourishing a sprig of mistletoe, holding it between them.

“I’m certainly glad I came prepared,” Grant told him.

Perry took the hand holding the mistletoe and rested it on his chest. The moment was so beautiful and intimate that Annie’s eyes watered, and she turned to give them privacy to enjoy it together.

Annie poked her head into the dressing room where most of the kids were already dressed. Jimmy was meditating in a chair, and Annie tiptoed around him to make herself available to any of the kids who might need help zipping into a garment or completing their stage makeup.

Annie closed her eyes for a moment to try and steady her breathing. When she opened them again, she could see Nick and Bailey reviewing notes on a clipboard in the wings. Annie wanted to look away, but her eyes were fixed on the movie-montage-esque sweetness between them. Bailey laughed and gave Nick’s arm a squeeze, a move that Annie could swear she felt across her own body as her muscles twinged. The warmth pouring out of Nick’s eyes when he returned Bailey’s stares was undeniable, and Annie physically ached to be the recipient of such a favorable gaze.

Annie watched Nick spot something on Bailey’s face and lean in closer. For a moment, Annie was terrified she might witness an actual kiss between them, but Nick lifted his index finger to Bailey’s cheek and pulled it back, revealing something now perched on his fingertip. Bailey beamed, dramatically closed her eyes, and puckered her lips to provide a steady stream of air to what Annie could now assume was an eyelash.

Looks like Bailey has everything she could wish for, Annie thought, watching Bailey reopen her eyes and laugh again next to Nick. This is how it should be, Annie reminded herself, Nick deserves someone like Bailey. But still, a lump lodged itself in her throat and her eyes prickled. She should have been celebrating. Nick had clearly succeeded in winning over Bailey and she had almost kissed Chris—they had to be nearing the finish line now, right?