Page 105 of Everything She Wanted

“Don’t.” She looks at me with irritation. “I saw you two together, and I just figured it out, and I just wonder why you didn’t come to me.”

“Figured out what exactly,” I say cautiously.

She puts her hand on mine and looks at me. “You can trust me, Nish. If he’s making you uncomfortable, we’ll figure out what to do.”

I’m more confused than ever, and it must show.

“Look, last night, I saw how close he was standing to you. If he’s harassing you—”

“What? No, he’s not. Why would you even think that?” Nervous energy courses through me.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but I saw him chase after you at the coffee shop a few weeks ago.” She pauses and I try to process her words. “It seemed like you handled it, so I didn’t ask you about it and obviously you’re with Eshaan, and he knows that, right?”

“He does.”

“And then yesterday, it didn’t make sense. Why would he abandon his date to follow you outside?”

“We had an urgent client request come up, and he wanted to fill me in on it.” The lie is thick on my tongue.

“Nish, stop protecting him. I saw his hand pinning you against the wall.”

Anxiety rises up, and I don’t know how to stop it or control it or what to say next. I could tell her the truth, or I could let her believe that Nick’s some kind of sleaze bag forcing himself on me. Either option is horrible, but the latter is the worst.

She continues. “I know he’s been coaching you and even helped you get on that panel. Is he making you feel like you owe him anything?”

“No, he wouldn’t, he didn’t,” I stammer. A mouse, cornered.

“Jess, where is this coming from?”

“I had a close friend who was dating a narcissist, and it was crazy because if you met him, he was the most charismatic guy you ever met. We all loved him, and he turned out to be an asshole.”

Her words hit me in the chest, and I go cold, but not because they describe Nick.

Is it Eshaan? Everyone except Rachel keeps telling me how perfect he is for me. Even my mom is constantly pushing my concerns aside and convincing me to cater to him, but no one’s ever seen Eshaan lash out at me like he does in private.

I toy with my cup sleeve and look at Jess, agitation rising in my chest. I can’t go there now. I have to deal with this first.

“You haven’t shared this with anyone else, have you?” My mind races, and I can’t help but worry that she might say something that would hurt Nick or cost him his job.

“Of course not,” she says. “I wanted to ask you about it first.” My mind whirls, trying to come up with a plausible half-truth that would throw Jess off. “We’ll figure this out,” she continues, “but I need the details.”

I take a deep breath and continue to spin my web of lies. “When Nick first started working here, he didn’t know I was seeing someone, and we were spending a lot of time together, at conferences, in meetings, and even late at night during the crisis situation.”

She nods and looks at me with kindness in her eyes, urging me to continue.

“One night, after a long day at the conference in Minneapolis, I was heading out to meet up with a friend, and I ran into Nick on my way out and asked him to join us. We were drinking and having fun, and he might have taken it as something more because later that night, he kissed me.”

I don’t tell her I kissed him back or have been chasing his touch ever since.

“I told him then I was seeing Shaan, and he’s been keeping it professional. Yesterday though, he said he has feelings for me, and I told him nothing could happen. I tried to walk away, but he wanted to talk more, and that’s when he grabbed my wrist.” I make it sound innocent when it was anything but. “It got heated, but he wasn’t hurting me,” I quickly add.

“Still. What a jerk.” I see her thoughts churning, and I know I need to throw her off even more.

“I feel bad because maybe I was giving off mixed signals.” That part, at least, is true.

“Nisha, no. Everyone at the office can tell you’re loved up. Don’t give him a get-out-of-jail-free card and blame yourself for giving the wrong impression. That’s what these kinds of guys want. They tell us it’s what we’re wearing, or else they take kindness as a sign that we want to screw them.”

That wasn’t Nick, but I couldn’t tell Jess the truth and risk anyone else finding out.