Page 74 of The Christmas Letter

He laughed softly, then ran a hand down the length of her arm. It was all she could do not to lean into him, to purr at the touch. He kept his hand there, a soothing presence. Slowly, she felt herself settle, felt her eyelids droop closed. He shifted, just a little, so that his arm dropped over her stomach, curling her into him. She heard his breathing slow, deepen. Felt her own match it. And with him there, his arm around her in comfort, she drifted into sleep.

Chapter Twenty-four

‘She’s fine, Pam, honestly,’ Holly said as she and Jack walked down a line of bright, colourful houses next to the canal on the island of Burano. Jack was walking a little way away from her, giving her space for the call but no doubt still able to overhear every word.

‘Tell me again – what happened, exactly?’

So Holly explained again how Emma had seemed over the last few days, how she’d collapsed, been rushed to hospital. Emma had told Holly not to call Pam, but Holly knew she would want to know. Emma would no doubt tell her off for it later, for worrying her friend, but Emma also needed to accept that other people cared about her, and that it was ok to share her worries with those people. Holly had tried to tell Emma as much this morning, when she and Jack had visited the hospital, but had been brushed off in classic Emma style.

‘Did the doctor tell you why she collapsed? Why it was so bad?’

‘Not really,’ Holly hedged. ‘And Emma won’t tell me anything, either. But it’s got to be . . . Do you think this means she’s much worse than she’s been telling us?’

Pam sighed, and for the first time since she’d met her, Holly thought she sounded tired. ‘In all honesty, my darling . . . Yes. I think it’s pretty bad.’

‘Do you know something?’ Holly asked sharply, earning a quick look of alarm from Jack.

‘No,’ Pam said slowly. ‘I don’t know anything. But at our age, there are certain signs you learn to look out for.’

Holly let that sit for a moment. But she didn’t push. She was trying to tell herself there was no use guessing, that she needed to speak to someone with the answers – a doctor, if Emma was refusing to be honest about her condition.

‘She’s trying to protect us, I think,’ Holly said quietly.

‘Yes. There’s a lot of that at our age, too. And Emma . . . She’s got that tendency more than most. But, darling, she might just not be ready to face up to things herself yet, either. That’s what I think, anyway. And I decided that, as her friend, I would give her the space. Though I suppose we’re all going to have to have a sit-down very soon and find out what exactly is going on.’

‘Yeah,’ Holly said quietly. And Emma would have reason not to want to face up to things, wouldn’t she? Because there were things in her life that were still unfinished. She snuck a glance at Jack, who was making a show of looking down the canal now.

‘Jack’s here,’ Holly said, as quietly as she could. If Jack heard his name, he didn’t react.

‘Is he, now? That’s interesting. I take it that was your doing?’

‘Well, I—’

‘Well done, darling. I’m glad you didn’t listen to the boring people who say meddling is bad.’

Holly felt a smile pull at her lips. ‘Abi doesn’t like meddling.’

‘Course she doesn’t, she’s sensible. And nothing wrong with that – we all need a sensible friend. But you and I, we are not sensible, now, are we?’

‘Ah . . .’ She wasn’t really sure how to answer that. Or how, exactly, Abi would feel, being described as ‘sensible’. ‘I’m sorry, Pam,’ she said after a moment, ‘but I think I have to go.’

‘Of course you do. I bet you’re entertaining Jack, aren’t you? And I’ll bet anything he’s a looker.’

‘He’s . . . ah . . .’

‘Course he is. Now you tell Emma that she should call me the moment she’s able to, ok? I’ll text her myself, but no harm in you telling her too.’

‘I will,’ Holly promised.

‘Good girl. And if you need anything – and I mean anything – money, flights, whatever, you call me, yes?’

‘I—’

‘Promise?’

‘I promise.’

‘Well, then.’ Holly heard it – the slight waver in Pam’s voice. Felt an answering swell in her own throat.