Page 65 of Want to Know a Secret?

Was I mistaken about Brianna coming out of this house? I thought for sure I saw her coming down the front stairs, but maybe not. Or maybe she got the address wrong and thought that house was ours. It makes a hell of a lot more sense than what I thought I saw.

I shake my head and return to our house. I stand in the middle of the living room, staring up the staircase. Elliot is upstairs working in his study right now. I should ask him if what Brianna said is true. Was he just biding time yesterday when he told me he wanted to stay together? Maybe he’s hiding his assets. Of course, I’ve got some of my own assets from my show, but it’s nothing compared to our joint accounts.

I imagine myself bursting into his study and demanding the truth. And then I imagine him tearfully admitting to me that everything Brianna told me is true. He wants to leave me to have this baby with her. He’s going to take everything and leave me penniless.

Suddenly, my chest feels tight. I sink onto the sofa, burying my face in my hands. I’m still furious at Elliot for what he did, but I still don’t want him to leave me. I don’t want to give up my life here. I don’t want to break up my family.

I’ll do anything to keep that from happening.

Chapter 32

“Mommy, the house is on fire.”

I look up from the television and see Bobby standing in front of me. His eyes are wide and he’s pointing at the kitchen. And that’s when I remember:

The cookies dammit!

I made my famous double chocolate chip cookies for my book club tonight. I did a show on the cookies last year. The secret is using dark cocoa powder for a more fudgy and rich flavor. I made these cookies dozens of times, but I’ve never burned them before. I must’ve forgotten to set the timer.

I leap off the couch to retrieve my cookies from the oven. Bobby has flopped down on the floor on his belly. “No, you have to stop, drop, and roll,” he says.

Well, at least he was paying attention in that fire safety lecture he got at school last year.

By the time I get to the kitchen, there’s smoke pouring out of the oven. I quickly turn it off and pull my cookies out of the oven. My delicious double chocolate chip cookies have turned into little black hockey pucks. Thankfully, I have enough batter for a second batch, but the kitchen is going to need to be aired out. There’s smoke everywhere.

And right on cue, the fire alarm starts going off.

Elliot has been trying to stay out of my way, but the fire alarm brings him into the kitchen. He wanders into the room, coughing into his elbow from all the smoke. “Everything okay in here, April?”

“Wonderful. Just perfect.”

“Can I do anything to help?”

I can’t say Elliot isn’t trying to make nice. During the day, he went out and bought me some flowers. And by “some flowers,” I mean that he purchased what appears to be the contents of an entire flower shop. I ran out of vases to put them in.

“It’s fine,” I say, as I wrench open the sliding door to the backyard. “I just need to air out the kitchen.” And throw away a bunch of cookies.

He scratches at his scalp. “When are you leaving for your book club?”

“In about an hour.”

“Okay. Um, let me know when you’re going so I can come down.”

He’s a little stiff when he talks to me. Despite his grand gesture with the flowers, the two of us are still acting like a couple of strangers who aren’t quite sure how to behave around each other. I am still really angry at him. No, beyond angry. Half the time, I want to reach out and strangle him with my bare hands. (And then strangle Brianna.)

But at the same time, I’m scared he’s going to choose her over me. He isn’t just having an affair with her (or a one night stand, if that’s to be believed). She’s pregnant. He can’t just walk away from that. And Brianna told me that he’s trying to let me down easy.

I keep thinking about Carrie’s humiliation when her husband left her for the hot, young babysitter. I don’t want to be the woman whose husband left her for his hot, young secretary. I just can’t.

An hour later, I’ve got a Tupperware container stuffed with double chocolate chip cookies that aren’t burned. I call up to Elliot, who comes downstairs to watch Bobby.

“Would you like a cookie?” I ask him. My olive branch.

He eyes the large container of Tupperware stuffed with cookies. “You sure you got enough in there?”

A joke. This is very positive.

A joke and an offer of a cookie are all we’ve got right now. We don’t kiss or hug or even make eye contact as I get ready to leave. I do give Bobby a kiss and hug though. And an extra one for good measure.