Page 43 of Ripple Effect, Vol. 4

My heart beats wildly in my chest at the beautiful fucking view before me. The black T-shirt and jeans she’s wearing look brand new, pressed and clean, as if she’s been living a completely normal life somewhere this whole time—a thought that angers me as much as I’m relieved. “The car explosion.”

“I wasn’t in the car when it exploded. I killed Dorian. Shot a bullet into his skull.” Her fidgeting hands tell me she’s nervous. “First time I’ve ever killed someone. I close my eyes, and all I see is his face.” She stares off. “Anyway, I got away.”

It doesn’t surprise me that she killed him. I saw it in her that night back at the factory—the unflinching will to survive at any cost.

If I weren’t trapped in a state of denial, I’d probably tell her that first kills are always hard, that you never stop seeing the faces of your victims. And that for me, it’s what tipped me over the edge, to the extent I knew I’d never fit into the mold of normal again. Unfortunately, I’m still trying to process this shit, caught somewhere between pissed off and shocked, so I don’t tell her any of that.

“Are you all right?” I ask, every muscle in my body begging me to swipe her up before she fades into another lost dream.

“Peachy.” She runs her fingers through her hair and by the way she double-blinks, I know she’s not.

“You broke into my house again.”

“Yep.” Her voice is like a breathy mid-thrust moan that innervates my spine. She has no idea I’m on the verge of snapping at any second. “For a hitman, you’ve got a shitty security system.”

“Didn’t see much point in setting it anymore. Are you high?”

“Nope.” She pulls a fifth of whiskey from behind her back and holds it up before kicking back a sip. “You left the liquor cabinet unlocked.”

“You shouldn’t be drinking that.”

“Y’gonna tell my mom?” The giggle that flies out of her mouth ends on a hiccup. “I missed you.”

My eye twitches at that. “What kept you away?”

“What kept me away?” she repeats. “Oh, let’s see. Well, I guess it’d be that whole love is a liability, love is death bullshit.” Another hiccup and she slaps a hand to her mouth.

“I was wrong. Where have you been all this time?”

“In a shelter. I was supposed to start night classes next week for my GED. Got offered a job.” She wipes her cheeks and her gaze falls to her fidgeting hands. “But then everything went to shit.” Tipping back the bottle, she takes a gulp, swallowing it back, and falling into a choking fit.

I can’t help but eye the bottle of liquor beside her once more. I’m two seconds from swiping it from her when she breaks down into a sob.

“Charlie’s gone. Someone took her.” Pulling her knees into her chest, she rocks back and forth. “I tried to stay away.”

“From me?”

She stills and traces the rim of the bottle, giving a nod. “Dorian killed my mother. I wanted revenge, and for the longest time, I thought that’s why I stayed with you. Until I didn’t have you anymore. Now I have nothing.” Her finger pauses its tracing as she lifts her gaze to me. “After the explosion, there was one split second when I almost called you.”

I don’t respond to that. I get it. She wanted to make a clean cut, thought it was her chance to run. Won’t happen again, though. Not now.

I’ve had a taste of how it feels to lose her once, and if faced with the possibility of having to go through that shit again, I’ll happily toss those plans straight into the fiery pits of fuck that. I’m not losing her twice.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to lie to you.” Her face pinches to a scowl and she pushes to a stand. “I never hurt you, Rip. I protected you by not coming back here. I didn’t want you to be killed or hurt because of me.”

My muscles tense when she stumbles, my eyes tracking every movement, every gesture. Waiting.

“I don’t know why I’m here. This was stupid. I just … I need to go.” She makes a determined walk toward me, as if I’d let her walk out on me again.

Snatching her arm as she passes, I grip tight, against her squirming to get loose, and pull her into me.

“Let go, Ripley! Our deal is over, you told me that, remember? I don’t belong to you anymore!”

“You do, Dylan. You belonged to me the moment I saw you, and you belong to me still.” Wrapping my arms around her, I allow her to kick, scream, and punch me.

When she finally stills, she buries her face in my chest, hot heaving breaths beating against my skin, and she sobs. “I didn’t want to come back to you. I wanted to ditch you, just like you ditched me.”

“The reasons I made for keeping you were selfish. But the ones I made for letting you go were lies. I don’t want you going back to the shelter. I want you to stay here, with me.”