Page 106 of Intrepid

His silence answered for him, and I tipped my head back, trying to keep it together, trying not to break yet. I didn’t want to let him see how his words splintered my heart. I’d let it all wash over me later, but not yet. Not in front of him.

“Just answer one question. Do you regret it?”

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

I cleared my throat and exhaled a shaky breath. “Just answer the question.”

“Yeah. I regret it. I regret hurting you. And I regret that I’ll never see you again after this. Go home, Sera.” Without a kiss, or a glance back, he opened the car and left me there.

Even if I knew he was lying, even if I could see the agony in his eyes as he’d said the words, telling me what he had to in order to make me leave, it didn’t wound me any less.

But I wasn’t about to go home and return to my life as if nothing between us had ever existed. If I could get to that ledger and hand it over to Dax, maybe Ty wouldn’t have to go after my father. Because if there was one person I knew scared the shit out of my father, it was the man named Tesarik. Whoever he was, he held more power than Karl Kutscher—that much I could discern in my father’s nervous fumbling.

And after what he’d done to Eli, I was happy to hand his ass over on a platter.

* * *

I contacted my father’s secretary, Jane, under the guise of wanting to discuss Jo’s situation again, and through her, I learned that Karl had taken a two-day business trip to New York and wouldn’t be home until Tuesday afternoon.

As if I’d planned it myself.

That wasn’t to say getting my hands on the ledger would be a breeze, by any means. After all, Karl kept his office about as tightly sealed as the Smithsonian vault. Not even Jo had ever been permitted to enter and clean the downstairs office without his being present the whole time.

Arriving at the Kutscher Estate gate, I punched in the security code, and waited as the iron bars slowly opened before driving through. Sickness churned in my stomach as I approached the charming Tudor, edged in perfectly manicured shrubs that lined the half-circle drive in front. Floodlights climbed the brick exterior that was covered in browning vines, giving the impression someone was home. Karl had a thing about appearances, even when he wasn’t present.

I skipped up the stairs to the entrance, popping in yet another code, and raised my brow to find he hadn’t changed it after I’d left. Thought for sure he’d have erased me completely, first chance he got.

The house stood quiet, save for the low classical music that always played whenever he went out of town for a few days. I remembered truly loving those weekends, when he’d arrange to have his assistant, Melinda, stay with me. We’d stay up late watching movies my father would’ve never approved of, and ate more chocolate than the greedy kid at the Willy Wonka factory.

Crossing through the foyer brought me standing in front of Karl’s office.

His door stood wide open.

The entire drive, I’d schemed how I might get inside, going so far as to question whether, or not, I could climb through the heating and cooling ducts without getting stuck, or having a panic attack.

And all for nothing.

“I’m fucking hurt, Karl,” I muttered, stepping inside the dark office.

With me out of the picture, he must’ve assumed he had no reason to lock his doors, or to suspect that I’d be going back there any time soon—which would’ve been the case for sure, if not for the little task I’d been given.

I didn’t even know where to begin. So many places he could’ve hidden the ledger, and I’d had to Google the damned thing to even know what the hell I was looking for. He could’ve had it on him, for all I knew, but if retrieving it meant keeping Ty from getting annihilated, it was worth the time to look.

Even if the place made my skin crawl.

Knowing Karl, he’d have it kept in a safe, or something, so I searched the room for one of those first.

Nothing.

Next I searched for a lockbox. Perhaps something more portable, something he’d carry around.

I rummaged through drawers, filing cabinets, his credenza, and the liquor cabinet.

Minutes passed, and I’d not come across a single thing in his office where a ledger might’ve been stored. I slumped into the brown leather chair, exhausted with defeat, and my mind drawing an absolute blank.

I closed my eyes, spinning around in the chair, as I’d done as a young girl, loving the drunken dizziness.

Memories drifted through my head. Giggling. Spinning. Karl standing in the doorway with an angry expression. One that promised punishment and the pulling down of my panties, as he’d often threatened to do before telling me he’d spank my bottom red.