Page 149 of Nightshade

“You’re talking about a corpse. Buried. In the ground?”

“Yes.”

Hand rubbing down her face, she snorted a laugh into her palm and shook her head. “That makes no sense. I need to stop drinking, because … this … this is messed up. I’ve been around some messed up people, but you take the cake, lady.”

I couldn’t blame her. The possibility that Van Croix had been right about me had left me in a state of denial, too. The only difference between Alicia and me was that I saw what had happened to her. I knew there was nothing for her on the other side. Van Croix had only speculated, in my case.

“What is happening?” Rubbing her forehead, she looked down at her drink, then set it aside on a nearby table.

“I’m not trying to upset you.”

“Well, you’re not trying hard enough, because I am surely upset.” Looking away, she seemed to bite her lip, the telling signs of denial etched in her expression. “So, I ended up here because I don’t believe in God, right?”

“As I understand it.”

“Well, why would I? What’s God ever done for me?”

“Alicia, I need to know if you remember who hurt you that night.”

“There is no God. There is no Heaven.”

“If you tell me who hurt you, I can help.”

“How? You’re not dead, too? Like everyone here, as you said?”

“No.”

Confused eyes raked over me, as if searching for the differences between us. “How are you here, then?”

“I’m only here temporarily.”

“How? You can go back?”

I hated the way she looked at me with a glimmer of hope in her eyes, as if I could’ve possibly saved her from this place. “Yes, but … what you’re thinking … it’s not possible.”

“You’re telling me you can’t go back, either?”

“I can. Because I’m not dead.”

At the tight grip of my arm, I glanced down to where her fingers curled like a vice around my flesh. “You can take me with you. You can take me with you, and I can come back. I can go home.”

A bitter ache stabbed my heart with her pleading. “You can’t come back with me.”

“Why? Why can you go back, but I can’t?”

“Because if you do, you’ll spend an eternity in a buried corpse.”

Her brow flickered, as if she’d just been slapped by realization, and she seemed to chew on the thought for a moment. A series of emotions took over her expression, all stages of grief in the span of no more than a minute, until her shoulders sagged in defeat. She glanced around the room, to what would be the souls she’d spend up to an eternity with. Eyes that just moments ago held a spark of hope seemed wearier.

“I need you to tell me who hurt you.”

“So you can go back. And I can stay here.” She swayed on her feet, her eyes becoming spacy and unfocused. Pupils dilated.

The drink.

“So I can make sure he’s captured and never kills again.”

Snorting a humorless laugh, she hardened her jaw and shook her head. “What do I care now? Look around, Miss Ravenshaw. I ain’t going nowhere.”