Page 183 of Nightshade

“And if I’d have never returned to you, at all?”

“I was prepared for that possibility, as well.” He didn’t bother to elaborate, but the grim expression on his face told me enough. “I waited an eternity for the year in which you were prophesied to be reborn.” His words settled deep inside my chest, and in spite of my lack of experience with love, I tried to imagine wanting someone that badly.

I was ashamed to admit that I couldn’t. I’d never loved anyone so fiercely as to wait an eternity. To deny myself the possibility of happiness.

And because of that, I didn’t feel like I deserved him.

Hands cupping my face, he kissed me harder that time. “It’s cold. We should get back.”

“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to stop by the kennels and check on the dogs. I’ve not seen them in a couple days.” I stepped back from him, and he reached out for my arm.

“Is everything all right?” The concern etched on his face only pulled tighter at my chest.

“Perfectly fine.”

“Farryn. I’ve had an eternity to fall in love. To dream and become infatuated, waiting on your return. I do not expect you to feel the same so soon. It would be unnatural.”

I didn’t want to tell him that I feared I might not be capable of romantic love, at all. Given the lengths he went? I doubted my love as a daughter, a niece, a friend. I doubted my humanity altogether. Who wouldn’t sacrifice for someone they loved, after all? A selfish person. One who thought of no one but herself and her own survival.

The smile I offered back belied all the doubts swirling in my head, and I nodded. “I just have to get used to the idea of love, is all.”

“I rejected it myself. Swore that the apathy in my heart would be what would ultimately destroy me. And here, it was the only thing in this world that saved me. I’ve been dead inside for far too long. But in you, I’ve found reason to breathe again.”

Smiling wider, I nodded, only feeling worse. “I’ll only be a few minutes at the kennels.”

“Of course.”

Turning away from him, I exhaled a long and shaky breath, and blinked away the threat of tears. Get a hold of yourself, the inner me chided. Jesus, there were worse things in life than having a gorgeous man, with vibrating feathers and a body made for sex, to profess his infatuation.

A lot worse.

As I neared the kennels, a commotion caught my attention, and I rounded the building to the other side, where the housemaid, Evie, stood screaming at Garic.

“I don’t care! You don’t just take something! It’s called stealing, moron!” Evie held a shiny object behind her back, her other finger pointed toward the old man who glared back at her.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Angry, brown eyes snapped toward me, as Evie regarded me like a bad smell in the air. “What business is it of yours, dog girl?”

No doubt I had my own issues when it came to people, but Evie was an example of someone who clearly hadn’t been hugged enough as a kid.

“It isn’t my business, at all. You just looked upset.”

“Yeah. You would be, too, if this dimwit had stolen something you were in charge of looking after!”

“I didn’t steal it,” Garic finally grumbled. “I was only borrowing it.”

“Borrowing what?”

Evie whipped the object from behind her back and held a silver picture frame between them, quickly snatching it away when Garic reached out for it. “He took it from the curio cabinet in Master Van Croix’s sitting room!”

“A picture frame?” I waited for her to tell me that it had some special meaning, or something, but instead, Garic added, “In a drawer collecting dust.”

“You’re upset that he stole an unused picture frame?” I was asking for both clarity and because her reaction made it all a little ridiculous.

“I suppose the consequences aren’t the same for those of us with special privileges. If the master happens to see his frame missing? He’ll suspect me, and I’ll be out of a job. And a home.”

“I’m sure Mister Van Croix wouldn’t have a conniption over a picture frame.”