Page 34 of Abandoned

She smashed the car into gear, zipped out of the parking spot, and sped out of the lot, leaving him reeling.

“God, what just happened?”

Chapter Nine

Zara gripped the steering wheel with every ounce of strength in her muscles. She was pretty sure she was falling in love with Will, but she couldn’t do that, couldn’t let herself fall for someone who had no perseverance. She’d been tossed with the waves enough in her life.

But she loved him.

Why was she such a fool?

Love was just a farce. Wasn’t it?

Who had ever loved her enough to stick with her through it all? No one.

No human anyway.

She pulled into her parking space at her apartment, and the floodgates she’d been holding shut while she drove broke.

After she unbuckled her seatbelt, she folded her arms on the steering wheel and rested her forehead on them.

God was with her. Wasn’t He?

There was a phrase in the Bible that came up again and again. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Did that apply to her? Or was it only for the specific people being spoken to in the Scriptures?

Why was it all so hard to understand?

She wanted to call Will and talk to him about it. But she couldn’t do that. That bridge was up in flames.

Fresh tears ignited a coughing fit. When would this stupid cough go away?

She dug in her bag for a water bottle and her inhaler.

Once the coughing subsided, she went inside.

Will and Logan had installed a security system in her apartment on Saturday afternoon, and she was beyond grateful to know she was walking into an empty apartment.

And empty it would stay.

Because she’d shoved Will away.

She locked the door and reset the alarm, but she barely hit enter before another wave of grief hit her.

Putting her back to the wall, she slid to the floor, dropping her bag beside her.

She was alone and always would be.

Only God would stick with her. She could sense Him near, holding her soul in His hands.

He was all she needed anyway, right?

But she had thought that maybe He’d been the One to bring Will into her life. She’d heard stories of how God had used another person to show His love to someone. She had hoped that Will could help her understand what it was like to have someone genuinely care for another. But she couldn’t count on him. If he gave up on his dreams so easily, wouldn’t he turn around and give up on her? She knew she wasn’t an easy person to handle.

While she was growing up, her dad had always said what a handful she was.

More than one boyfriend had told her she was a pain in the neck.

Not one person in her entire life had said she was easy to get along with.