Page 76 of A Different Impression

“I do,” Bingley said, sounding earnest, or so Darcy believed. “I thought of her constantly whilst I was away. I began to understand how serious my feelings were almost as soon as I left Netherfield, but by then I had already failed to take my leave. With every week that passed, I became less certain that she would consent to see me again.”

Before Darcy could respond, a knock sounded at the door.

“Enter.”

Elizabeth stepped inside and surveyed them. “Ah, excellent. As neither of you appears to have been shot, I must conclude that the meeting has proceeded tolerably well.”

A reluctant smile tugged at Bingley’s mouth.

Darcy rose and helped his wife into a chair. “Bingley has explained the circumstances that kept him away, although he recognises that they do not excuse his failure to write.” He looked towards his friend. “Because this concerns your sister, the decision regarding what may be disclosed belongs to you.”

Bingley hesitated before nodding. “I trust Mrs Darcy’s discretion, and she cannot advise me regarding Miss Bennet without understanding what occurred.”

He gave Elizabeth a shortened account of Miss Bingley’s condition, her attempted escape and the desperate action that had nearly killed both her and the child. Elizabeth listened without interrupting, although Darcy saw her expression soften at the description of her subsequent illness.

“I am sorry that your family endured such a crisis,” she said when he had finished. “But could you not have sent a note to my father or my husband? Surely you were never beyond the reach of the post.”

“I could have—and should have,” Bingley admitted. “I began several letters but destroyed them because I could neither explain the truth nor invent a convincing falsehood. At first, I believed I would return within days. Then Caroline’s life was in danger, and I allowed fear to become another excuse. Once she began to recover, I was ashamed of having remained silent for so long. I kept waiting until I could return and explain everything in person.”

“You did not need to explain everything,” Elizabeth said. “You needed only to tell those who cared about you that an urgent family matter had detained you. Your sister’s condition explains your absence, Mr Bingley, but it does not explain why you allowed Jane to believe that she had been forgotten.”

“No,” Bingley said quietly. “Nothing can excuse that.”

“Then you must tell her precisely that,” Elizabeth said, sounding like a mother scolding a child. “Do not attempt to make her comfort you for the pain your own silence caused. Explain your circumstances, admit that you behaved badly and allow her to decide whether she can trust you again.”

“I shall.”

Darcy considered his friend for a moment. “And what exactly are your intentions towards Miss Bennet?”

Bingley straightened. “If Miss Bennet can forgive me, I intend to ask Mr Bennet’s permission to court her formally. I believed myself in love before leaving Netherfield. These months away have convinced me of it. Ultimately, I hope to marry her, but I shall not presume upon her affection or press her for an answer before she is ready.”

“That is better,” Darcy said. “Jane is residing beneath my roof and is now my sister. You will not resume your former attentions unless she wishes to receive them. If she does not, you must accept her decision.”

“I will. You know that I would never intentionally dishonour a woman.”

“I know that you would not intend it,” Darcy replied. “I have also seen you imagine yourself in love before, and your thoughtlessness has already injured Jane. Intentions are not sufficient. Your conduct must prove your constancy.”

Bingley lowered his head. “You are right.”

Elizabeth glanced at Darcy before addressing Bingley. “I shall speak with Jane, but the decision will be hers. If she agrees to hear your explanation, you must tell her as much as you can without betraying your sister’s confidence.”

“I understand.”

Satisfied that nothing further could be settled without Jane, Darcy rose and suggested that they join the others in the drawing room. Whether Bingley would be welcomed there again would depend not upon Darcy’s forgiveness, but upon Jane’s.

CHAPTER 32

A Stirring Announcement

The following day, Elizabeth informed Darcy that Jane had agreed to hear Bingley’s explanation. Over the ensuing weeks, Darcy observed that Jane gradually appeared more comfortable in his company. Bingley called frequently, escorted her to several engagements with her permission and, to Darcy’s satisfaction, made no attempt to press her for an immediate decision.

Darcy and Elizabeth refrained from interfering, although they occasionally contrived to give the pair sufficient privacy to speak openly. Some of those conversations appeared rather tense, but Darcy considered that preferable to Jane concealing the hurt Bingley had caused her.

“She cared for him in the autumn, but she was not in love with him,” Elizabeth said one morning as they watched the couple from across the drawing room. “Still, his actions hurt her. Jane has told me she is torn between anger over his abandonment and compassion for the circumstances that detained him. I believe she may eventually forgive him, but he must allow her to reach that decision in her own time.”

Darcy agreed. Thus far, Bingley appeared to understand that forgiveness must be earned.

Similarly, Darcy had observed a welcome change in his friend. In addition to visiting Jane, Bingley spent considerable time in Darcy’s study asking questions about estate management. The previous autumn, he had shown little interest when Darcy attempted to discuss drainage, planting, or the responsibilities owed to tenants. Now he listened carefully and even brought letters from the Netherfield steward so that they might consider the matters raised within them together.