Page 151 of The Ninth

“Because that’s not what you deserve and you know it. We don’t lie to each other and now that you’re face to face with me, I have to tell you, Kenzo. I fucked around on you and I’m sorry!” I cried out.

He dropped my head, hopping out of bed and pacing the floor. I sat up, nervously gripping the sheets for what he was going to say next. What he was going to do. Instead of waiting, I just decided to get it off.

“Juan doesn’t mean shit to me that you do! I was just alone, Kenzo. He pressed me for three months, and I broke. I told him it would never be him. That I had a man and he was—”

“You telling me that fuck nigga was fucking on my baby girl, knowing damn well she had a man? So I’m just a joke to you niggas, Cassandra? Huh? You fucked that nigga in the apartment I put you in? In this bed I almost made you my fiancé in? DID YOU?!”

“Yes!”

“Fuck the strip club, this is the worst shit you could’ve ever fucking done to me. I knew there was someone else that night I called you and you were crying outside. You expect me to believe that you don’t give a fuck about that nigga but you crying over him? Crybaby, you was fucked up that entire night over that nigga!”

“NO I WASN’T! I WASN’T CRYING OVER JUAN, I WAS CRYING OVER YOU! BECAUSE OF HOW GUILTY AND WRONG I FELT BEING AROUND HIM. EVERY TIME HE LEFT ME I FELT SICK, KENZO! THIS SHIT WAS NEVER OKAY TO ME. I JUST FUCKED UP. I GOT TOO INTO IT. I NEVER FELT RIGHT LOOKING AT YOUR FACE OR SPEAKING WITH YOU AFTER THAT SHIT!”

“You loved him?”

“NO! HE KNEW THAT! HE KNEW I ONLY LOVED YOU!”

“He loved you?” I didn’t say anything. “He fucked you raw? Kissed you? Took care of you? Looked into your eyes? Held you?” Nothing. “FUCKKKKKKKKKKKK!”

He smashed his fist against the wall, laying his head onto his arm. Even though I was scared, I still got out of the bed, walking towards him. I couldn’t breathe. I regretted saying anything.

Physically, I could feel Kenzo detaching from me.

He spun around, looking at me, “I truly don’t know who the fuck you are, Cassandra. You got on them phones every FUCKING DAY, LYING TO MY FUCKING FACE! NOTHING IS EVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! A NIGGA GIVE YOU THE WORLD, LOVE YOU WITH EVERY FIBER IN HIS BODY, PUT YOU ABOVE ANY AND EVERYBODY IN HIS LIFE. YOU STILL GO OFF AND STRIP IN A CLUB AND FUCKING NIGGAS BEHIND MY BACK?! BUT IT’S NOT ABOUT A BLUE FACE TO YOU? LET ME GUESS, THIS THE SAME FAKE, HOOD RICH ASS NIGGA THAT HAD YOU COMFORTABLE OPENING YOUR OWN DOOR? HOLDING HIS GUNS? RIDING AROUND WITH HIM TO MAKE PLAYS? IT’S ONE THING TO FUCK OFF ON ME SHORTY, BUT YOU DID IT WITH A LOSER THAT AIN’T EVEN HALF THE MAN I AM. YOU DON’T FUCKING RESPECT YOURSELF AND YOU DAMN SURE DON’T RESPECT ME.

“I WAS BUCKLED, CASSANDRA! I WASN’T ON THE OUTSIDE CHEATING ON YOU, ABUSING YOU, DISRESPECTING YOU. I WAS LOCKED UP. TAKEN AWAY. THE WORST CASE FUCKING SCENARIO, AND YOU OUT HERE CHEATING ON ME? YOU GON LET ME COME HOME AND FUCK YOU IN A BED SOMEBODY ELSE ALREADY FUCKED YOU IN FIRST? HUH?! WHAT, YOU LET ME GET IN THE BACKSEAT OF A CAR ANOTHER NIGGA GOT FOR YOU?! YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP! I’M OFF YOU, SHORTY. AND AYE—”

He approached me fast, grabbing my waist and pulling me to his body, “You tell that nigga when I see him, I’m murking him. What kind of man knowingly fucks a man’s wife while he jammed up? That’s the kind of nigga you giving your body to? Bet. You bogus as hell, shorty. Go fuck that nigga because clearly, I’m not your type. I’m off you. You tell any and every nigga you fucked off on me with, it’s finna get wicked out here, on my dead brother.”

My heart broke watching him walk away to the closet. I was paralyzed. No part of me was able to move. I was screaming a thousand words, but none of them were coming out. It wasn’t until he walked past me fully dressed without looking at me that I snapped out of it.

“Kenzo...” I started speed walking behind him. He grabbed his keys, turning and going for the front door. “KENZO! I HATED DOING THAT TO YOU, PAPA! I DIDN’T LOVE HIM, I DIDN’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT HIM! THE MOST I DID WAS FEEL BAD FOR USING HIM! IT’S ALWAYS BEEN YOU, JUST YOU! KENZO STOPPPP!”

At this point, I was screaming behind him as he rushed towards the elevator. The doors came open. I stepped on, blocking them from shutting.

“Kenzo, baby, you know me! You know it’s only you. Pleaseeee believe me! DON’T WALK AWAY FROM ME, KENZO.”

“Move, Crybaby. Move.”

He gently pushed me off.

I pushed against him, sadness turning into anger as I realized he wasn’t budging. Instead of pushing to stop the elevator, I started beating on his chest. Even with people peeking out of their apartment doors, I kept wailing on him.

“FUCK YOU FOR LEAVING ME AFTER BEING GONE, G! YOU KNOW WHAT THIS SHITS FINNA DO TO ME!”

I shoved him inside of the elevator. I couldn’t stop the words from coming up. It wasn’t fair to turn it against him, but I was just so pissed to lose him.

“You’re home now. Go ahead, tell me the truth about that guard or guards. YOU SAID YOU WOULD TELL ME FACE TO FACE, THEN TELL ME YOU DIDN’T CHEAT ON ME!”

The anger slipped from his face for a brief second. That was all the omission I needed. As the doors begun to shut, I took a step back. He leaned off of the elevator wall, stepping towards me.

“Cassandra...”

I turned, running back to my apartment. He stopped the doors from shutting and ran behind me. Unfortunately for him, I made it inside and locked the door as soon as he pulled the handle.

My body collapsed to the cold floor. I felt just as numb as I did when I first had my suspicions. When I first knew.

“Cassandra, open this door. CASSANDRA!”