Page 66 of Thief Taker

“If I do, it’s because you won’t carry your share.” His stomach twisted in revulsion. “You—Look at you… Bad enough that you ruin yourself, but to bring ruin down on your whole family? On Charlotte? How do you even look at yourself in the mirror?”

Something flickered across James’s face. Guilt, perhaps. He and Charlotte had been close, once. But then he just shrugged. “I’ve no need to look. I keep a valet.” He gave a sly smile around the lip of his glass. “As do you, I hear. Comely fellow, by all accounts. Perhaps I could borrow him some time?”

“You stay away from him,” Kit snapped, his hands curling into fists before he caught himself. “I mean it, James. Leave Cole out of this.”

James shook his head, pushed a hand through his unkempt curls. “You know, I don’t know what’s worse: the tedious drone of your righteous outrage or the stink of your hypocrisy.”

Kit almost choked on his brother’s absurdity. “Hypocrisy? You gamed away our fortune. Do you think I care who you bed?”

James pulled his dressing gown tighter, and Kit’s heart clenched—how thin and sickly his brother had grown. “No, I don’t think you care who I bed,” James said. “I don’t think you care what I do. Perhaps you never did.”

“That—That is arrant bloody nonsense, and you know it.”

“Do I?”

“James—”

“You left.” His voice cracked on the word, leaving him breathless. “You left, Kit. I was mad with guilt, and you…” His hand shook when he took another mouthful of brandy, turning away. “You left.”

A raw silence fell between them, painful and honest.

“I didn’t…” Kit began. “If you’d asked me to stay, I would have. No matter the risk.”

His brother nodded, mouth twisting into a bitter smile. “And still you don’t understand.”

“Understand what?”

“I didn’t want you to stay,” he said, voice held tight in his throat. “I wanted to go with you; I wanted to be free.”

Another silence followed. It was filled with the crackle of the fire and the noise of James breathing too fast and too hard. Kit worried that his brother was unwell in more than just his mind.

A sudden pulse of longing for Elias swept over him, so intense he caught his breath. He closed his eyes, imagining Elias there, strong at his shoulder: his face, his bright smile, that profound connection he’d felt between them last night. Kit wrapped himself in that memory and took strength from it.

On a deep exhale he opened his eyes and let them rest on his brother. People called James beautiful and they were right, there were women who would envy those silver-grey eyes, those graceful cheekbones. But Kit made himself look past all of that and see the pain beneath. His heart constricted into a gristly knot of guilt.

“I know,” he said, because it was the truth. Perhaps he’d never looked it in the eye before, but he’d always known it was there. “I know you did.”

“And yet you left me behind to—” He huffed out a shaky breath. “Father wanted me to marry again, within the year. Did you know that? He called Maria’s death an ‘unfortunate delay in securing an heir to the title’.” His mouth twisted. “You may imagine what I told him to do with the damned title. It’s cost me enough.”

“Jamie…” Kit reached out and touched his shoulder, feeling his brother stiffen under his hand. “Is Marlborough pressing you to marry his daughter to clear your debts?”

Lifting his chin, James said, “It was mentioned. I refused. I will never marry again.”

“Then refuse him Ashbourne too. Tell him you’ll pay your debts another way. Ask for more time.”

“You clearly don’t know Lord Marlborough.”

There was something in his voice, a crack in the studied indifference. Kit sensed an opening and took a step closer. “Do you fear him? Is that why you’re doing this?”

His smile twisted, but he made no answer.

“Please,” Kit tightened his grip. “James, come with me. We’ll find a way to make this right. I promise.”

“Make this right?” He shook his head, the smile falling away. “You have no idea, brother dearest, none at all.”

“Perhaps not. But I know that once Ashbourne is gone there’ll be no getting it back. James you can’t—”

“I can.” He wrenched himself free of Kit’s grip. “And there’s no other way. Marlborough doesn’t want money, he wants Ashbourne—he needs the two parliamentary seats that come with it.”