Page 120 of Tempting Fate

“I’m working on it. Hold on.” I snatched my comm off my wrist and sent Kira a message. “Caves tomorrow? Please?” It was a foolish idea, but I had to try.

We walked to our room, where I curled into my nest, letting the weight of the covers soothe me. “We have to move back to town.”

“About that… I’ve been offered a room,” Fenn said.

Oh. “With?”

“Xeefral’s friend.”

What was I supposed to say to that?

“I haven’t said yes. I wanted to talk to you first.” They rolled over the top of their nest and down into mine, dragging their covers with them. “But I thought maybe you wanted to stay here.”

But I couldn’t. Daiytak had said. Unless I moved in with Airida, which would mean accepting we were…

My clothes felt too tight, and I pulled at my sleeves. No. No, I’d set boundaries. I’d stuck to them, well, more or less. We were friends. Friends with benefits for a defined period. It was what I’d wanted.

But the thought of a life without him in it…

I sank down, squeezing my eyes against the burn of tears. “Fenn, I don’t know. I don’t know what to do.”

Had we ended up in a relationship anyway?

Fuck. I’d broken my promise.

I’d failed, and the realisation was too much to take in, my head spinning. What the fuck do I do now?

Fenn put an arm around me. “I won’t leave you in the lurch. But I’m also not going to help you move back to town if you’re going to be miserable. Do you love him?”

“What? No!”

“So you can just, what, say goodbye in a week, put him on that carrier, and move back to town?”

“No. But that doesn’t mean…” I was going to be sick. The idea of trying to move forwards without the safe structure of kalidi terrified me, but walking away wasn’t an option. Having him leave wasn’t an option. I let out a sigh. Potentially ending up with a permanent mate bond didn’t feel like an option either. “I’m scared, Fenn. I thought I was doing the right thing, swearing off relationships. But he’s…”

“He’s not your exes, babe. He’s the most sincere person. Is he perfect? No. But perfect for you? I swear, you couldn’t find anyone more besotted with you, I promise. That boy would lay everything he had at your feet if you let him.”

My eyes filled with tears. I couldn’t argue with a single word. “I need to speak with him.”

“Yeah, you do.” Fenn tugged me to standing and gave me a hug. “You got this.”

I squeezed them tight, letting the hug ground me. Yeah I did. I had to. My brain could stress about this new revelation another time; right now I needed to see him like I needed to breathe.

I tramped over to Airida’s dwelling and swiped the door open. There he was, in the chair by the window, with his pretty purple headspines and those arms that gave the best hugs.

How could I speak to him if I didn’t even know what I wanted to say? But his face looked as morose as I felt.

I curled up on his lap, tracing circles over the back of his hand. “They told you too?”

“Yes. I was… You would not have been proud of the way I acted.”

I imagined how indignant he must have been and huffed out a laugh. “No, but I’ll take it as a compliment. Did she tell you I have to leave when you do?”

Anguish twisted his features, cutting me to the bone. “No. Why?”

“I was always going to move back to town, remember? This was temporary. And they need the space for newcomers.” My voice dropped low. “Five days.”

I’d been so eager to settle in town, but the thought of it weighed on me like an asteroid around my neck. Yet the idea of being here without him hurt me to my bones.