Page 61 of Wed By Proxy

Mathilde stood up from her seat and went to her chest before she could change her mind. Drawing the scandalous book from its recesses, she thrust it into Prudie’s hands. “Read the first chapter at the very least, and see what you think. You will have to be bold indeed if you choose to take it for instruction, but…” She took a fortifying breath. “It worked for me.”

Prudie gazed down at the book and then back at Mathilde. “Very well, milady,” she said with a spark of hope kindling in her eye. “And thank you milady.”

“See how you get on with it,” Mathilde recommended. “You may find it’s not for you.” She cringed a little, remembering some of the illustrations and how stern Prudence seemed sometimes. Hopefully it would not turn her hair gray with shock. That might be hard to explain away in the morning.

After the maid left, Mathilde undressed and washed. She knew Guy was not coming, so she kept on her shift and climbed into bed wearing the thin white robe. For ten minutes or so she lay staring at the ceiling as her eyelids drooped. She thought of her mother, and Nurse and dear Fenella, Gordon, Piers and Willard. Once she was installed at Acton March Manor she would write to her friends and to her mother and let them know that all was as it should be.

But until then… until then, her position was precarious. She could imagine her mother demanding her return. Lady Doverdale was an important woman at court, after all, and Mistress of the Queen’s Robes.

Mathilde yawned and rolled onto her side. She longed to feel secure in her position as Lady Martindale but… how could she, when no one had even called her by her title since she had arrived. She frowned over this a moment, until sleep overtook her. Somehow, she had managed to push that fact resolutely from her mind, but it was still a little disquieting when she remembered it.

When next she woke, she found a large arm wrapped around her waist. Momentary startled out of her wits, she gave a muffled yell.

“It’s me,” rumbled a voice behind her. She breathed out again in relief and sagged back against him. “I didn’t mean to frighten you,” Guy muttered. “But you were sleeping like the dead when I arrived.”

“I was so tired,” Mathilde mumbled. She glanced toward the window, but all was still in darkness.

“Go back to sleep.”

She let her eyes drift shut again, before a thought occurred to her. “How did you get in?”

“Your maid is in the kitchen, reading by candlelight.”

“Oh.” Oh. She almost asked if Prudie had a shocked or horrified expression on her face. Then she decided against it and dropped a hand to rest on his, which was lying against her belly. “I thought you weren’t coming tonight.”

“I thought the same.”

She smiled into the darkness. “I’m glad you changed your mind.”

“I don’t want you getting cold in the night,” he said gruffly.

“I won’t now,” she said appreciatively, and wriggled against his big, warm body. She heard him catch his breath.

“Go back to sleep,” he growled. “You’re tired, remember?”

“I am,” she agreed softly. “You won’t run off before I wake, will you?” Her voice was sleepy yet anxious. When he didn’t answer, she twisted her head back over her shoulder to look at him.

“I mean to leave early,” he admitted. “I have been … neglecting my duties of late.” He cleared his throat. “I won’t be able to come for a couple of days.”

“Oh, but…”

“I’m just here to sleep, Mathilde.”

Maybe she shouldn’t have lent that book to Prudie, she thought vexedly. Not when she still clearly had need of it herself! Then he squeezed her hip. She realized what it was that was resting against her bottom. He was hard. Oh. She relaxed back against him. Perhaps she had no need of the book after all. He was genuinely being considerate of her, not disinterested. With a soft sigh, Mathilde drifted happily back off to sleep.

XXV

When next she woke, Mathilde was once more alone. She rolled onto her back and sighed, wondering what business Guy filled his days with at Acton march. Estate business, no doubt, as by all accounts the estate covered a very large area. She cast her mind back to her brief visit to his ancestral home. A very grand residence it had been too, fit for his station.

Should she venture to ask him, she wondered, when he would take her back to his official seat? Her instinct urged her to wait. To wait for the moment when he would tell her they would return together as man and wife and he would introduce her to his household. Her heart swelled at the idea, and she clasped her hands over her chest.

The fact had he had come to the lodge last night, merely to cuddle with her, must be a positive sign surely?

She wriggled her toes gleefully at the notion he wanted to spend time in her company. Firmly, she put from her mind the last four years she’d spent unclaimed and shunned, a wife in name only. She did not want to dwell on the barren beginnings to their union. Instead she wanted to concentrate on the life that had sprung forth from such unpromising origins. Respect, liking and, dare she even hope for true affection from her spouse? It had not been very heartening being the scorned wife whose husband never laid claim to her.

Oh, she had known what people said about her in corners where her mother would never hear them. She had been sheltered but not tone deaf. That she was a poor little creature, a pathetic pawn in her mother’s ambitious game. She drew in a breath and exhaled again noisily. No, she would not dwell on it. She had moved past all that. She had taken a flying jump off the chessboard, and landed squarely on her own playing field which was level and clear, and allowed her to make her own moves.

Rolling out of bed, she hurriedly washed and dressed herself, a glimpse out of the window told her she had overslept, as did the jug of lukewarm washing water. Prudie must have bought it up at least an hour ago. Venturing below stairs, the only body she came upon was Robin’s cat, Mabel, who rubbed against her legs. She never had returned to Old Helga, thought Mathilde, reaching down to stroke the tabby. The cat made a little noise in her throat and butted her head against Mathilde’s hand.