Page 10 of A Contracted Spouse for the Prizefighter

Lil’s eyes widened. “I turn the tables on him?”

“Yes, and poor Percy doesn’t know what to do with you. That’s the joke.”

“The would-be seducer becomes the seduced?”

“Exactly.”

Lil pursed her lips and seemed to consider. “I don’t say as it wouldn’t work as a turn, mind, but you do realize you’re talking pure music hall, Theo my love. This wouldn’t be what you and your sister’s been doing all these years, skirting the edges, but keeping all respectable-like.”

“I am aware of that, Lil.”

“Are you?” Lil looked skeptical. “Because there would be no room for half-measures, you know. You’d have to be proper bawdy with it, for it to work. It would have to be more than just a bit … well, saucy.”

Theo nodded. “It will,” she agreed simply. “I’m not a complete fool.”

Lil’s gaze narrowed. “You think you could do that?” she asked. “Only I never seen you be risqué, my dear, nor even tell a rude joke. Not in the ten years I’ve known you.”

“I know I could,” Theo insisted, boldly holding her gaze. “I may not be that way inclined in … in my private life, but as a performance on stage, I assure you, I can be as bawdy as you like.”

Lil chewed the corner of her lip. “Your brother would never let you do it. Not on stage in his theatre.”

“It is no more Felix’s theatre than it is my own,” Theo fired up. “Or Hetty’s, or Mr. Allsop for that matter. You know the four of us all own a quarter share.”

“That may well be,” Lil sniffed, “but that brother of yours wields you and your sister’s shares as if they was his own.”

Theo had no answer for that, for Lil spoke nothing but the truth. On paper Felix was the head of their family. As a mere female, she would always be subject to her nearest male relative’s rule. Aloud, she said, “It is true Felix has no love for music hall, but he will have to realize we need to move with the times.”

Lil gave a harrumph. “You know how he hankers for respectability, Theo! Lord, even your uncle didn’t try and cater exclusively to the middle classes, like what Felix does!”

Theo continued to avoid her gaze. “And how has that served him?” she asked evenly. “You’ve seen all the empty seats, night after night. If things don’t pick up, we risk losing this place. He will have to cave eventually, Lil.”

“Still can’t see him ever agreeing to music hall,” Lil said glumly. “He won’t even countenance pantomime since your uncle passed. Thinks it’s too vulgar and encourages the wrong crowd.”

“Any crowd would be a blessing at this point. Things need to change,” Theo resolved, echoing her brother’s words from the day before but with a wealth of different meaning behind them. The two of them sat looking at each other before Theo’s natural optimism reasserted itself once more. “I’ve already set about re-purposing a couple of Mr. Allsop’s songs for the purpose of our new act.”

Lil looked stunned. “You have? Did you get his permission first?”

“Not yet,” Theo admitted cagily, “but I will, never fear. I doubt he will care now in any case. He’s knocked out dozens of musical numbers for me and Hetty over the years.” She hesitated. “I think, privately, he’s always thought them a bit beneath him. You know his true ambition is to write an operetta.”

“Lah-di-dah!” mocked Lil. “Well, what do I know? Mr. Fancy-Pants mayn’t cut up rough if you think he won’t. I’m an actress not an artiste.” Lil slumped in her chair. “Least, I was,” she said looking suddenly tired. “All me life.”

“You’ve plenty more performances still to give, Lil,” Theo assured her friend.

“Beats me how you can be so buoyant, girl,” her friend responded dully.

“Trust me. Put your faith in me, Lil,” Theo urged. “I won’t let you down.”

Lil gave a short laugh. “That’s the best bit of male impersonation you done yet,” she grimaced. “Ain’t I heard that one before!”

“Not from me,” Theo pointed out.

“How you even goin’ get this act of yours on stage?” Lil asked. “Felix’s next production is Antony and Cleopatra. How does your bawdy skit fit in with high Roman tragedy? Answer me that!”

“It won’t be staged at The Parthenon, not initially,” Theo admitted. “That will come later.”

Lil’s jaw dropped. “You’re leaving The Parthenon? You?”

“I’ve got no choice, Lil. I have to be realistic at this point.”