Page 14 of Regency in Color

A wave of overwhelming sadness and loss crept from the corner of her heart, threatening to submerge her into despair. Before the dark emotions could take hold, she put one foot in front of the other, marching forward with her plan.

She lowered herself onto the empty chair next to Colin, who immediately turned his head in her direction. He gawked at her, dazed and confused as if he saw a phantasm come to life from the pages of a Gothic novel.

Juliana took a deep breath to steel her resolve. She leaned in, closer than what was considered appropriate but necessary to make sure she could engage him in a whispered conversation. “I accept your offer.”

Colin’s brows knit together, his head angling slightly to the side. “Pardon?”

Her jaw clenched. Did she truly have to remind him of the conversation they had a day ago? She glanced over her shoulder at Lady Roxburrow, a stone’s throw away, chatting with several other chaperones keeping a watchful eye on their charges. A reminder of why she had to secure Colin’s aid, no matter the blow to her dignity.

She faced forward, focusing on the musicians. “Your offer to help me find a husband. I accept.”

Colin turned his head and looked at the side of her face. He watched her silently. His usual indicator that he wanted her full attention to make sure she heard him. She reluctantly rotated in her seat just enough to see his lips.

“May I ask what has caused your sudden change of heart?”

“I’ve learned that my circumstances are much direr than I first thought.” She twiddled her gloved thumbs, needing a release for her anxious energy. “It is imperative I find a husband by the end of the season, else I may suffer a fate worse than any imaginable.”

“I see.” He looked as if he wanted to say more but didn’t.

“Let’s not dwell on it. How should we proceed? What great tricks do you plan to teach me that will elevate my value on the marriage mart?”

He stroked his knuckles under his chin, his expression thoughtful. After several seconds, a roguish grin spread across his full lips. Juliana’s pulse quickened. She could never resist his mischievous smiles and the adventure they promised. Perhaps this wasn’t the best idea. He’d broken her once—she couldn’t set herself up to be broken again.

Colin sprang to his feet and offered his bent elbow. Juliana hesitated, then looked at Lady Roxburrow once more. She stood and tucked her hand into the crook of his arm. She had no choice.

Marriage to Baron Cromwell frightened her far more than her feelings for Colin.

“Before we begin your lessons,” he said as he led them away. “I’d like to apologize for calling on you in such a slovenly condition. I’ve been asking for your forgiveness more than ever before. For some reason, I can’t seem to conjure the right words anymore when I’m with you.”

“I’ll accept your apology if you tell me why you drink so heavily. You also appeared to be rather far in your cups at Lady Devonford’s ball. I have a feeling that is a common condition for you now.”

“It is. More than I prefer.”

“Why?”

“Because it silences the nightmares and dulls my grief.”

“From your brother and your father’s deaths?”

“Among other things, yes.”

“I’m sorry I never got to send my condolences.”

“As I am sorry that I did not send you mine when your parents passed.”

“Thank you. I miss them every day.”

“I can empathize. I miss them my father and brother, but Robert, most of all. He should be the Duke of Herstshire, not me. Sometimes I feel guilty enjoying the privileges that were meant for him.”

“There is nothing to feel guilty about. You didn’t wish for your brother’s death or covet his title while he lived. It happened, and there is nothing you could have done to stop it. The best thing you can do now is to create a legacy for your family, and the title, which he and your father would be proud of.”

“Thank you. Your words are the first I’ve heard in a long time to give me comfort.”

“They are but the truth.”

“Which makes them all the more special.” He cleared his throat. “Let us begin your instruction. Lesson one. You must show that you know how to have fun.”

“That makes no sense.”